skittles_of_SDC 0 #1 June 26, 2009 So I'm really bored and making a craigslist personal ad. Help me make it as awesome as I know it can be. I know some of you will have some good ideas for stuff I can add. This is what I have so far: QuoteI'm looking for the whole package. My ideal woman is independent, hot (like, smoking hot [no fatties]), likes to do laundry and cook and is a huge fan of having sex. Constantly. If you aren't ready to have sex at least once or twice daily, click away now. It can get wild and intense pretty quick. Having a horse like neck would be a plus as I'm kinda a choker. When I say neck I mean JUST the neck. If said horse likeness extends up to the face don't waste my time. You should be willing to experiment in the bedroom. When I say experiment I mean do whatever I tell you. If you are saving herself for marriage that's a big plus, at least until I convince you it is a stupid idea, cause I wanna nail a virgin. She also has to be okay with the fact that I have no goals in life and would rather sleep till 3 PM than do anything productive with my life. If you cannot accept this then click away now. If you have lots of money that would be best. I have expensive taste but I don't really feel like working for anything. I'd prefer to spend my time playing video games and watching TV while you go to work. She should also have low self esteem so she doesn't realize she is too good for me and leave, taking her money with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #2 June 26, 2009 you sound like a keeper! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skittles_of_SDC 0 #3 June 26, 2009 Quote you sound like a keeper! I was reading the 'best of craigslist' stuff and it inspired me to write and ad that makes me sound just awful but is still believable. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #4 June 26, 2009 please post results on here! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skittles_of_SDC 0 #5 June 26, 2009 Quote please post results on here! I haven't posted yet. I'm gonna wait to get some good stuff from people here to add into the ad before posting. Preferably some stuff from women like things that would be pet peeves for them to read in a personal ad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SarahC07 0 #6 June 26, 2009 "If you are saving yourself for marriage that's a big plus, at least until I convince you it is a stupid idea, cause I wanna nail a virgin." and you change from "you" to "she" right at the end... Why do i even care? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #7 June 26, 2009 Quote "If you are saving youself for marriage that's a big plus, at least until I convince you it is a stupid idea, cause I wanna nail a virgin." and you change from "you" to "she" right at the end... Why do i even care? admit, it sparked your attention, didnt it!? “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skittles_of_SDC 0 #8 June 26, 2009 Quote "If you are saving youself for marriage that's a big plus, at least until I convince you it is a stupid idea, cause I wanna nail a virgin." and you change from "you" to "she" right at the end... Why do i even care? Cause you wanna help me create the best trolling personal ad I possibly can? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SarahC07 0 #9 June 26, 2009 Quote Quote "If you are saving youself for marriage that's a big plus, at least until I convince you it is a stupid idea, cause I wanna nail a virgin." and you change from "you" to "she" right at the end... Why do i even care? Cause you wanna help me create the best trolling personal ad I possibly can? It's cool - I left out the 'r' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #10 June 26, 2009 How YOU doin'?? Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #11 June 26, 2009 Quote How YOU doin'?? “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skittles_of_SDC 0 #12 June 26, 2009 Quote How YOU doin'?? You know how it goes. Trying to find the girl of my dreams. Seriously, throw some stuff in that I can use. Stuff that would either really bother you or that guys have said that made you think 'what a pig!'. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #13 June 26, 2009 how about you got a foot-fetish, and expect the girl to suck your toes as well after strenious work-outs in a hot climate!?“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #14 June 26, 2009 Quote Quote How YOU doin'?? You know how it goes. Trying to find the girl of my dreams. Seriously, throw some stuff in that I can use. Stuff that would either really bother you or that guys have said that made you think 'what a pig!'. Hmmmm..... how about having a ballet dancer's body, flat abs, MILFs love you and must love you dressed in your leather?Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skittles_of_SDC 0 #15 June 26, 2009 Quote how about you got a foot-fetish, and expect the girl to suck your toes as well after strenious work-outs in a hot climate!? I'm trying to make it somewhat believeable. I should just post a real personal ad of yours. I'm sure I would get hundreds of outraged women. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #16 June 26, 2009 Quote Quote how about you got a foot-fetish, and expect the girl to suck your toes as well after strenious work-outs in a hot climate!? I'm trying to make it somewhat believeable. I should just post a real personal ad of yours. I'm sure I would get hundreds of outraged women. PLEASE-DONT-DO-IT!!! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #17 June 26, 2009 Make sure she knows how to make a good sammich. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #18 June 26, 2009 Quote Quote please post results on here! I haven't posted yet. I'm gonna wait to get some good stuff from people here to add into the ad before posting. Preferably some stuff from women like things that would be pet peeves for them to read in a personal ad. It's perfect!!! Just post it the way it is . O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #19 June 26, 2009 Oh ... if you like sex so much, you might not want to look for a virgin ... or say that she must be virgin, but know everything there is about dirty, crazy sex. Oh ... also say that you want her to have 3somes with you ... O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #20 June 26, 2009 Quote Oh ... also say that you want her to have 3somes with you ... O There you go Skittles ... Looks like you have a volunteer for a threesome. Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #21 June 26, 2009 Quote Quote Oh ... also say that you want her to have 3somes with you ... O There you go Skittles ... Looks like you have a volunteer for a threesome. I know I may not have perfect command of the English language, but I know that's not what I said. Sorry "Skittles" ... Plus, you are asking for things that would rub a woman (a potential date) the wrong way - and that is one of them things, I guarantee. Nothing makes a woman feel "special" like a man trying to skip over the romance and go straight to 3somes ... and men do try, I kid you not. True story ... this guy I met at the DZ during my AFF (he was there for a tandem) ... mustered the courage to ask for my number ... then mustered the courage to call and ask me out a few weeks later. He is in disbelief when I agree to go out with him than we said he'll make plans for a date and let me know. A couple of weeks later I get an e-mail from him telling me about this swingers party (yep) and asking me if I want to go with him ... on our first date. Well, I ended ripping him a new asshole and never heard from him again. Than, I go to Z-hills for Thanksgiving boogie and guess who is there? Yep ... Mr. Big Nutz ... he decided to get into skydiving and now had 50 jumps. When he saw me there he came up to me and mumbled some half ass apology ... I don't care if he on this site. If you're reading this, I want to let you know what a dumb ass you are ... 'cause I was really interested ... and you blew it. O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rlucus 0 #22 June 26, 2009 *Note to self... Don't ask O for a 3some till the second date Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #23 June 26, 2009 Quote *Note to self... Don't ask O for a 3some till the second date www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thedude325 0 #24 June 26, 2009 Quote Quote *Note to self... Don't ask O for a 3some till the second date +1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anthonyfellows 0 #25 June 26, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Oh ... also say that you want her to have 3somes with you ... O There you go Skittles ... Looks like you have a volunteer for a threesome. I know I may not have perfect command of the English language, but I know that's not what I said. I know you didn't say it, but it was implied. See how that works? Serious relationships turn into work after a few weeks and I already got a fucking job :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ H.A.F. = Hard As Fuck ... Goddamn Amateurs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
