d_squared431 0 #1 July 14, 2009 One upon a time in a land some called the sunny place (aka florida) live a girl and here thoughts. These thoughts were of the naughty nature. With one look or quick glance at the innocent thought thinkers they would be converted. She was sent into isolation in the middle of no where. The place was a giant castle and it even had a moat. The moat was not filled with water but with beer. Not just any beer but good beer. No matter how much she drank it would not go dry. It was an endless supply. In a land not to far away called Georgia, a group of people heard about this fantasy place and the exotic occupant who could dazzle them with thoughts of naughtiness. Since all naughty thoughts were banned by the Billvon (keeper of the lands and fun taker out of everything). Anyone caught thinking these thoughts or speaking of someone who thought the thoughts would be spanked to their deaths. They feared the one with the unbreakable paddle, Skymama. Everyday people would bring her wine baskets filled with cheese, crackers, fruits, and pieces of chocolate. They thought if they brought her baskets of things she liked she would forget where she hid her unbreakable paddle. Little did they know she always had spares laying around. The only thing that could stop her was green glitter. The keeper of the green glitter was a secret but rumor had it she lived far away in a big city and had two female guards. One was know for her mad skills with a whip she was call "the lady" and the other, well the other was so small you needed special glasses the see her. She was ruthless though, they just called her "G." They all spoke a funny language. It was the lost language of the spotted ones called the snortmooOOoow. The groups of people from Georgia were called "the farmafiables." They were know for their odd behavior and funny way of dressing. They seem to think time was just a word. They were on Georgonian time. You had to be born in Georgia to know what that means. I don't even know what that means and I am telling the story. Anyways, they heard about the moat that surrounded this castle and just knew it was a place they had to find. They love to drink good beer. None of that twist top or stuff that came in a can type beer but good beer. They made plans to make plans for the trip. The ring leader was a tall skinny guy with a goatee. He rounded up a few or the farmafiables. One night over jello shots, sammich's, beer and a few hands of poker the plan was finalized. They had a few little problems to work out. Finding a way to get the high heels off the one they called "the sweetheart" and putting regular shoes on her, getting the other tall skinny guy to wear something more appropriate for the trip besides his thong and top hat, figuring out how to get the Barbie to only pack 1bag instead of 12, the packer girl was working on that, the last two problems were much easier to work out. Plus, they were not going to leave at the same time. They had to leave a lot earlier because the big man was traveling with the tortoise and the tortoise would get stuck in the giant sized divots the big man left behind. It would take hours to get that damn tortoise out of the giant divots. Everyone told the big man that tortoise was nothing but trouble but the big man didn't listen. Meanwhile, the girl with all the thoughts was still alone in the castle waiting for a very special package to arrive. All she could think about was that package. For the first time the only thoughts in her head were about the contents of the package. She was so excited and kept pacing back and forth. For days she kept watch for UPS and nothing. She was isolate so not being able to call or look online she was only able to write a letter. Yes, she was forced to use snail mail. As she was about to send a letter she saw a brown bread truck type truck pull up. The driver was told to honk three times and set the box on the draw bridge and then leave. The driver did as he was instructed. The girl not able to get the package because it was set outside of the castle was screaming and yelling. Tears of frustration ran down her cheeks. She took a deep breath and looked out the castle window where she saw a man standing over the box. She thought it was a man, but he was wearing a skirt looking thing, a straw hat, and carrying a guitar. She yelled out to him but he could not hear her screams and he proceeded to open the box. He reached into the box moved the inside wrapping and began to just starred at the contents. This was something that was banned from all the lands many many years ago. They thought it was what caused the girl have those thoughts she did. The journey begins………… Three days into the trip and sure enough the tortoise got himself in a pickle in one of those giant divots. It was all the pesky rodents fault. The tortoise was doing really good not to fall in the giant divots too. This wasn’t just any everyday type rodent, this was and educated rodent. He was ten times more annoying than the standard rodents in the area. The rodent only wanted to make friends but the tortoise was on a mission, a mission for beer. He could not be bothered to become friends with a rodent at this point in time. The big man was almost able to get the tortoise out of the giant divot. He had to be very carful not to create another giant divot while retrieving the tortoise. All the big man had to do was think light thoughts. He repeated silently in his head “think light, think light, think light, several times. It seemed to be working until that damn rodent crawled up his pant leg. The big man only had two fears in life, women and rodents. The tortoise yelled for help as the big man was shaking him and screaming like a school girl in a high pitch screech. The big man shook his leg so hard the rodent went flying. The tortoise had a little shell shock from banging his little head on his shell a few times and he passed out. The big man had no choice but to carry the tortoise.TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #3 July 14, 2009 I'm going to be laughing in the Dr's office today and won't be able to explain why. Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #4 July 14, 2009 Quote I'm going to be laughing in the Dr's office today and won't be able to explain why. Have you worked out how i could make that symbol crash, yet?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #5 July 14, 2009 Quote I'm going to be laughing in the Dr's office today and won't be able to explain why. I can't wait until she writes more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #6 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote I'm going to be laughing in the Dr's office today and won't be able to explain why. I can't wait until she writes more. I have a little more to post....TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #7 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote I'm going to be laughing in the Dr's office today and won't be able to explain why. Have you worked out how i could make that symbol crash, yet? Not yet. I'll think about it while the doc is massaging my foot.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #8 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote Quote I'm going to be laughing in the Dr's office today and won't be able to explain why. Have you worked out how i could make that symbol crash, yet? Not yet. I'll think about it while the doc is massaging my foot. Don't laugh. Feet tickle. I wish there was a fairy tale around here that I could read.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #9 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote Quote Quote I'm going to be laughing in the Dr's office today and won't be able to explain why. Have you worked out how i could make that symbol crash, yet? Not yet. I'll think about it while the doc is massaging my foot. Don't laugh. Feet tickle. I wish there was a fairy tale around here that I could read. Not to worry I will post more.....TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #10 July 14, 2009 Oh look...she's being sneaky and adding to the story in the OP. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #11 July 14, 2009 Quote All she could think about was that package. I've had days like that, but the package wasn't a box. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #12 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote All she could think about was that package. I've had days like that, but the package wasn't a box. Wait till you find out what is in that package.....TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #13 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote All she could think about was that package. I've had days like that, but the package wasn't a box. Ok...who has space in their sigline for this Skymama quote? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #14 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote Quote All she could think about was that package. I've had days like that, but the package wasn't a box. Ok...who has space in their sigline for this Skymama quote? That is a good one...TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #15 July 14, 2009 I hate it when I get into a story and then get the "to be continued". When is the sequel?I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #16 July 14, 2009 Quote I hate it when I get into a story and then get the "to be continued". When is the sequel? So you like the story so far? Tonight or tomorrow. Still working on the ending...TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #17 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote All she could think about was that package. I've had days like that, but the package wasn't a box. Was it IN the box?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #18 July 14, 2009 Quote Quote Quote All she could think about was that package. I've had days like that, but the package wasn't a box. Was it IN the box? You're just itching for a spanking aren't you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #19 July 14, 2009 OMG!!!! You are too funnyBry -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #20 July 14, 2009 LOOOOOVE IT!!! Can't wait to hear the rest of the story.... g "Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #21 July 14, 2009 More! More! More!Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baksteen 84 #22 July 15, 2009 Quote Three days into the trip and sure enough the tortoise got himself in a pickle in one of those giant divots. It was all the pesky rodents fault. The tortoise was doing really good not to fall in the giant divots too. This wasn’t just any everyday type rodent, this was and educated rodent. He was ten times more annoying than the standard rodents in the area. The rodent only wanted to make friends but the tortoise was on a mission, a mission for beer. He could not be bothered to become friends with a rodent at this point in time. The big man was almost able to get the tortoise out of the giant divot. He had to be very carful not to create another giant divot while retrieving the tortoise. All the big man had to do was think light thoughts. He repeated silently in his head “think light, think light, think light, several times. It seemed to be working until that damn rodent crawled up his pant leg. The big man only had two fears in life, women and rodents. The tortoise yelled for help as the big man was shaking him and screaming like a school girl in a high pitch screech. The big man shook his leg so hard the rodent went flying. The tortoise had a little shell shock from banging his little head on his shell a few times and he passed out. The big man had no choice but to carry the tortoise. It's getting even more dubious if you only read the fragments I bolded.."That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport." ~mom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #23 July 15, 2009 It's getting even more dubious if you only read the fragments I bolded.. TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #24 July 15, 2009 Quote It's getting even more dubious if you only read the fragments I bolded.. Do you feel like a bigger man now that you pointed out someone elses errors? Does it make you feel superior to everyone else when you do that? It is the f"ing internet not a school paper for a grade. If bad grammar and sp bugs you this much then why hang out in the bonfire? What a buzz kill you are. Down Girl! Down! He was pointing out that it seems remarkable that the Tortise is getting the worse of the situation.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baksteen 84 #25 July 15, 2009 I typed something completely different, but I want to chage it to: Rough day at work, dear? "That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport." ~mom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
