Nataly 38 #1 September 12, 2009 Ok.. So I own up to having put my details online for a dating website in January.. By February, I concluded that as suspected, the types of people on there just weren't my cup of tea, so I took down my profile. One guy who sent me a message, however, has kept persisting we meet, and after 9 months of this, I went out with him last night. I was absolutely clear he should have no expectations other than I would pay half the bill and owe him nothing in exchange.. He took me to an eye-poppingly expensive restaurant, and I told him I only could afford something in the region of £30-£40, so we should go somewhere else. He thought this was "cute" and ordered for me, not giving me much of a choice and told me not to worry about it. But I'm an accountant, and I quickly tallied the bill, and it was close to £300.. Holy fucking shit. It made me uncomfortable. Maybe he was expecting me to be impressed, but I just found it a bit vulgar. And I kind of felt like if I hadn't explicitly TOLD him there would be no monkey business, he would have been expecting some in exchange for all the dosh he just parted with.. I just don't understand why this would impress a girl, or how a girl could lower her standards in a man because he spent money on her. *YUK*."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
banesanura 1 #2 September 12, 2009 I once went to a bar and met a butcher...he offered me discounts on his meat for a date. I'm on a diet and no red meat for me....bahhahahahBest Girl Scout Ever. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #3 September 12, 2009 Wow.. Discount meat.. Wonder if that line ever worked??!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #4 September 12, 2009 Quote Wow.. Discount meat.. Wonder if that line ever worked??!! Women generally don't want a "bargain" there. The guy could have been an ass, but also could have been someone that was well off and just liked a good meal with nice company. From what you said the latter doesn't seem likely though. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeQ.Public 0 #5 September 12, 2009 Maybe he was just being nice and that is how he does it. Was he rude or condescending to you in any way? Did he act like he was doing you a favor by showing you how the other half live? Maybe you should come to the U.S. and pickup some broke ass fucker living in a trailer at the DZ and you will feel better.Very soon, an honest person will not be able to sing the last 2 lines of our National Anthem:::Practice safe dining....use condiments Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #6 September 12, 2009 Quote One guy who sent me a message, however, has kept persisting we meet, and after 9 months of this, I went out with him last night. If you didn't want to go out with him but he kept insisting, why did you keep talking to him and "give in?" And people wonder why some guys don't take "No" for an answer... Prolly why he didn't on the date.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #7 September 12, 2009 Quote Wow.. Discount meat.. Wonder if that line ever worked??!! Wait for it... Wait for it... Wait.... OK: how much was he taking off an inch for his chateaubrian? BAWAAAHAA ..... I kill me. Ok, carry on.Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #8 September 12, 2009 Quote Prolly why he didn't on the date. Yeah... Sounds like Nataly went all the way... Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #9 September 12, 2009 Quote Quote Prolly why he didn't on the date. Yeah... Sounds like Nataly went all the way... I wasn't talking about that, I was talking about her "protests" over venue just being dismissed.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #10 September 12, 2009 See? If you dated cheap bastards like me, that would never happen. "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #11 September 12, 2009 Quote See? If you dated cheap bastards like me, that would never happen. Speaking of things that would never happen... Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #12 September 12, 2009 Quote Quote See? If you dated cheap bastards like me, that would never happen. Speaking of things that would never happen... Hey!I don't crush your aspirations."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #13 September 12, 2009 Quote He thought this was "cute" and ordered for me, not giving me much of a choice and told me not to worry about it. That's bullshit!! I would've gotten up and left. Ordering for you? What is this, 1950? Just a sign of things to come with this guy. Quote I just don't understand why this would impress a girl, or how a girl could lower her standards in a man because he spent money on her. You'd be surprised how many women (and MEN) *will* do that. It disgusts me. I've never dated someone because of what I *thought* they had or what they could do for me. I'm very uncomfortable when someone wants to pay for me and I insist on paying my own way. Guys who flash cash and think because they purport to have money and therefore call the shots.... one of my BIGGEST pet peeves!! So... how did the rest of the night go and did you tell him you'd see him again or not?Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #14 September 12, 2009 So he dropped $1k. And do you live in or around London? One of the most expensive cities in the world? I could say a lot of stuff that would offend a lot of people regarding evolution and hunter provider Vs. hot piece of ass and all that fun stuff. But why? After all we are just hairless apes, well some of us are less hairless than others. And biology and evolutionary drive is as strong in us as it is in jellyfish. But you are obviously not a jellyfish. You have a brain and you have free will (insert free willy joke here) and thus you could if you so wish short circuit evolution. OR.....you could go on a second date enjoy another good meal and then kick him to the curb and fallow your heart and marry an underpaid unappreciated engineer who couldn't even scrape up $100 for dinner and live the rest of your life wondering what would high end Italian leather feel on your bare ass?Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #15 September 12, 2009 See, what kept irking me was the way he was so showy about everything. It wasn't just the bill, but he kept dropping hints about his fat salary and how much he travels, all the toys he owns etc., etc. It was a massive turn-off. He spent 99% of the evening bragging. It wasn't impressive - it was annoying. You know, the thing is, he might have turned out to be a decent guy, so I gave him a chance. When the meal was over, he suggested going back to his place. I thought "bloody hell.. this evening has been bad enough already without this final request!!!" I told him that as far as I was concerned, he should just let it go as it was just never going to happen. After all this pestering, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and met him in person, which only confirmed the impression I had gotten from his emails - he's just not my type. Would I see him again?? Hell no. And yeah.. Re the food ordering, I agree that was just plain rude. Rather surprisingly, he chose very nicely, but I'm with you - I can pick my own damn food, thank you very much. It would have been different if he had *suggested* what to order. Man, everything about him was presumptuous, rude, and just plain offensive. All this work women have done to be taken seriously, and some jerk thinks he can throw money at me and I'll be all his?? Seriously?? I think not."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #16 September 12, 2009 Quote Quote Prolly why he didn't on the date. Yeah... Sounds like Nataly went all the way... If by all the way, you meant "in the opposite direction", then yes.. I went as far away from him as I possibly could If you meant I slept with him, all I can say is: no fucking way in hell, tabarnac!!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #17 September 12, 2009 Now that you put it that way....yeah what a sleaze ball. Boy aint got no game! Sure he's not an engineer of some sorts? Maybe the very rare well to do engineer? But you know I hate to say it, for some women....women is the wrong word.....for some girls....this works! Note Flabio and all his super model wives. http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/07/29/article-0-021A8FAB00000578-579_468x554.jpg CAUTION WILL CAUSE NAUSEA IN SOME! http://bauergriffinonline.com/bfm_gallery/2008/06/BriatoreHoneymoon/post_image/post_image-80630j6_briatore_f_b_gr_01.jpg Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #18 September 12, 2009 I like you. While, I do not think your thread title goes so well with your post, the title intrigued me. When I went to college, it was a big slap in my face how many women I met who were truly there only to meet a future doctor or lawyer. I wish I could be more accepting of this. I understand wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, but...something just never sits well with me at all when a women would rather party and meet a future-rich guy than learn and know how to live independently. W/r/t your date: been there, done that. I felt the same way every time. NOT impressed with that type of guy. But, perhaps that is because I did learn, and can live independently. I am not saying if a guy happens to have money it is not a bonus; just that I would rather a guy have many other qualities I love and value, first and foremost.Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #19 September 12, 2009 Ewww.. But then not every guy I've liked has been physically attractive - I just have a soft-spot for funny, charismatic guys.. So I can understand a "beautiful" person with someone "ugly".. I just can't understand someone "dating" for money. The really ironic thing is that the guy from last night isn't that old (10 years older than me, which isn't necessarily a problem).. And he wasn't ugly.. So all this showiness was really unnecessary. I reckon he just doesn't have good social skills and tries to compensate with money and stuff.. Who knows.. Maybe it works on some people. I've never had much money, but I've never really found that to be a problem - if I want something, I just work hard and save up for it. I'm suspicious of "free" stuff - I don't think anything is free in life. Well.. Maybe love. But that's a whole different topic.."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #20 September 12, 2009 Quote I just have a soft-spot for funny, charismatic guys.. . And you just killed the server, you will now receive at least two dozen emails a minute and half of those will contain pictures of guys naked, laying on a couch hugging a teddy bear. Was it George Burns of the Talking Heads who once said dating is an arms race. For some girls, what this guy brought to the table would work. I'm sure you've seen them, $5k hand bags and shopping on a Wednesday afternoon. Others it won't. And for you it didn't.......or did it? After all you had the notion of posting about it, meaning he is still on your mind. And a number of us had said, "Yeah sure rock his world! Take his money and buy us all lift tickets......" would you have still called him? Don't worry about the answer, there is no right answer to such a question. But give that poor SOB engineer who is poorly dressed and who keeps looking at your toes a chance. Who knows maybe you can dress him up and he may even be funny and be able to tan.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #21 September 12, 2009 Man, there are so many things wrong with your post I don't even know where to start.. Apart from anything else, I find it genuinely disheartening that women still have so far to go to gain equality, and this is precisely the sort of thing that contributes to slowing down progress on this front. I don't want to take this post to the SC, but let's just say I'm not that kind of girl. I'll earn my own spending money, thanks."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nanook 1 #22 September 12, 2009 He could have just wanted a piece of ass. It didn't look like he had respect for your position. He's probably one of those guys that troll the dating sites to look for easy pickings to supplement his conquests. You weren't one of the pathetic ones. He struck out._____________________________ "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #23 September 12, 2009 Yeah, maybe I should just look at it as being that simple.. I just found it offensive on so many levels.."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nanook 1 #24 September 12, 2009 Well, if it means anything, back in my dating years, I found it offensive when some women would call me out on any chivalry mistakes. Some of them had to find their own way home._____________________________ "The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #25 September 12, 2009 Quote but let's just say I'm not that kind of girl. I'll earn my own spending money, thanks. And living expenses, right? Not sure how old you are, but always remember who you are and what matters to you most. I have discovered--much to my surprise--as I have gotten older (29 now) I get hit on even more by older men who seem to have a lot of money and do not see a ring on my finger. There is something to be said about love, for the sake of love, and being able to take care of yourself, by yourself, if you have to. There is no financial dependency, and truly no strings attached. And though I am biased--and no matter how much I would love to have no budget and live on the beach instead of several blocks away from it--I could not imagine living my life any other way. I can not say I have much in common with financially-dependent women.Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
