npgraphicdesign 3 #1 October 5, 2009 WHO IS JACK SCHITT For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH. REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jcd11235 0 #2 October 5, 2009 O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. sounds like a Schitt magnate.Math tutoring available. Only $6! per hour! First lesson: Factorials! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #3 October 5, 2009 Quote WHO IS JACK SCHITT For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt (maiden name or married name), the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt (maiden or married name). The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt (ok.... HE generally doesn't get questioned about maiden names), a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. (I thought they were "deeply religious"?! DIVORCED! not annulled? and if they were annulled, that would make Holle, Giva, Fulla, Bull and the twins, Deep and Dip bastard children with the "correct" last name of...... ummmmm.... Schitt?) Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt (maiden name or married name), and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt (maiden or married name). Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH. REMEMBER: LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE. Not a lot of branches in that family tree!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #4 October 5, 2009 They forgot Cary Quattroschitt! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #5 October 5, 2009 Depends. Which one? http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&refer=2938&adword=ANYWHO.COM&qf=Jack&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Schitt&PHPSESSID=b6e2311f7cc69f57f5226d26785fe290 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #6 October 5, 2009 QuoteDepends. Which one? http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&refer=2938&adword=ANYWHO.COM&qf=Jack&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Schitt&PHPSESSID=b6e2311f7cc69f57f5226d26785fe290 There are only 16 listed Schitts nationwide (or 15, and maybe 14 if two of the Jack Schitts are the same) source and one poor soul in MI, Dawg Schitt (actually listed twice) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyBastard 0 #7 October 5, 2009 holie fukken schitt!!!Dude #320 "Superstitious" is just a polite way of saying "incredibly fucking stupid". DONK! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #8 October 5, 2009 Let's not discredit alternative spellings. There's "Shitt"... http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Shitt ...and believe it or not, there actually is "Shit". http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Shit Wait! I can't stop myself! Gotta feel sorry for Marie Shithead: http://www.whitepages.com/search/FindPerson?firstname_begins_with=1&firstname=&name=shithead&where= There's a boatload of Bastards: http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Bastard About a zillion Wankers: http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Wanker At least 36 Twits: http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Twit A couple of Twats: http://www.whitepages.com/search/FindPerson?firstname_begins_with=1&firstname=&name=twat&where= Several Buttholes: http://www.whitepages.com/search/FindPerson?firstname_begins_with=1&firstname=&name=butthole&where= Well over 100 Morons (like there was any doubt): http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Moron A few Asshats: http://www.whitepages.com/search/FindPerson?firstname_begins_with=1&firstname=&name=asshat&where= Believe it or not, there really are a number of Assholes: http://www.whitepages.com/search/FindPerson?firstname_begins_with=1&firstname=&name=asshole&where= Forgive me, but not less than 2 Cunts: http://whitepages.anywho.com/results.php?ReportType=34&qi=0&qk=10&qn=Cunt And a handful of poor, dumb Fucks: http://www.whitepages.com/search/FindPerson?firstname_begins_with=1&firstname=&name=fuck&where= Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyBastard 0 #9 October 5, 2009 best post EVER. stop the internet we have a winner.Dude #320 "Superstitious" is just a polite way of saying "incredibly fucking stupid". DONK! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnDeere 0 #10 October 5, 2009 Quote best post EVER. stop the internet we have a winner. +1 Great post Andy!Nothing opens like a Deere! You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
c10edges 0 #11 October 5, 2009 Here is the video version. http://jack.zunino.net/knowjack.htm Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Niki1 2 #12 October 5, 2009 Dude! You have way too much time on your hands. Keep up the good work. Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done. Louis D Brandeis Where are we going and why are we in this basket? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #13 October 6, 2009 that was funny! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #14 October 6, 2009 Quote best post EVER. stop the internet we have a winner. Yea yea Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
