BillyVance 35 #26 October 7, 2009 QuoteJust remember,male or female, no matter how hot they are someone somewhere is sick of their shit. Bingo!"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #27 October 7, 2009 QuoteMaybe its as simple as the person needing to remind him or herself why he or she can't go back. I had a friend in highschool who "turned on me"... We were best friends for 7 years and I went away as an exchange student for one year.. When I came back, she had a whole new set of friends. I felt like any good friend would - I was happy for her that she had grown as a person and met new people.. Until one day, out of the blue, she stopped speaking to me. Suddenly, I was the biggest "b*itch" in the world.. It wasn't just the silent treatment - she and her friends all ganged up on me, threw insults my way, etc., etc.. I felt hurt and betrayed - she was my best friend; how could she be so mean? About 10 years later, she tagged me as a friend on facebook and I felt the old pain come rushing back. I thought I'd ask her why she suddenly started hating me and she told me it was because I'd slept with the guy she'd had a crush on for about 5 years.. I was totally shocked.. I mean, not only did I never sleep with him, but I still couldn't understand how you could throw away years of caring and support on that basis yet never have the decency to have even one conversation about it?! It's not until that moment that I realised she had always had a mean streak, but for the life of me, I couldn't understand why she felt the need to be so cruel over something like that - especially since it never even happened.. Anyway.. It was a long time ago.. But I always felt she did it because deep down inside she knew I wasn't a bad person and she needed to convince herself that I was."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #28 October 7, 2009 QuoteI guess I am saying, most speak ill of there ex's because they don't admit to who they are and what they themselves brought to the table of the relationship. It takes someone to be true to themselves to know it was not just the other person's issues that caused a break up; it was their own as well. Owning up and being responsible for their own actions. So, they just blame other.Well said. We are each responsible for knowing what we need, and obtaining it. We can notify others of our needs, but it's our responsibility to satisfy them, not theirs. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkM 0 #29 October 7, 2009 QuoteLove can distort perception. Take away the love, then the reality appears to be undesirable. Unconditional love overrides reality in order to perpetuate itself. I tend to think it has a lot to do with this. When you love someone you excuse away a lot of their crap. At some point though, the crap just becomes too much to overlook so you have to break up with them for your own good. So then after the breakup, you pretty much just remember all the crap you had to put up with. It's not a bad thing. It reminds you why you broke up in the first place so you'll stay away and it may help you notice and avoid the same behavior in new people you meet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #30 October 7, 2009 Quote Some of the discussions (on here and at work) have made me think lately... I've always found it odd when someone has absolutely nothing but bad things to say about an ex they were with for a very long time. I'm not talking weeks or months here, but *years*.. It just makes me wonder.. If he/she was such a monumental a-hole, why were you with him/her for so long??? It doesn't make sense to me.. The men I dated were almost all incredibly amazing people. There is only one exception, and I broke up with him because I found him rude and inconsiderate. But I still think he had *some* qualities - why else was I attracted to him in the first place?? Is it because the person hurt you so deeply that you can only remember the bad stuff?? What is it?? Could anyone explain or postulate?? OK - PM me what she really said about me. I'm just curious.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hungarianchick 0 #31 October 8, 2009 QuoteOne of my exes is one of my closest friends, but he and I were good friends before we started dating. Same here. As a matter of fact him and his wife (who is also a good friend) were on my priority list to visit when I went home this summer. We spent 12 years together, but grew apart, nothing terrible had happened. There is no reason for animosity. Even our parents kept in contact and call or visit regularly. He is one of my dearest friends and my life would be a little less colorful without him. "I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
