Wed. Funny

[futuredivot 0]

At least I find it funny

My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She looked at me and yelled, "You did this to me, you bastard!"

I casually replied, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said, 'That would hurt too much'."

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[The_Don 0]

I am NOT being loud.
I'm being enthusiastic!

[skyrider 0]

The other nite I came home from the pub battered and bruised, missing hair and bleeding badly, the wife took one look at me and said, "what the hell happened to you"

I told her I walked into the bar and some dirty rotten feral mongrel had done a shit on the floor just inside the doorway and I slipped ass up in it!

, "And you got hurt that bad" she asked, "No no no"

"I went and cleaned myself up and was sitting at the bar when this bloody big Hells Angel walked though the door and done excactly the same thing,

I turned around and said "I DONE THAT".

[futuredivot 0]

My girlfriend and I were having sex when she looked up at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."

So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair. I never saw her again after that night.

I guess we don't watch the same movies..

You are only as strong as the prey you devour