Cowboy Joke

[BIGUN 1,488]

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress..
There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, cowboy," says the genie....
"You know how it works....You have three wishes."

I'm not falling for this. said the cowboy...I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie.
What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation and it looks like you're a goner anyway!
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie is right.
OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink..

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.
My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me...

***POOF***
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He was turned into a tampon.
If the government offers to help you, there's going to be a string attached!!!

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[PLFKING 4]

Three cowboys were sitting by the campfire one night, when one of them starts boasting about how tough he was.
"Why, just last week my horse got spooked by a rattler, and pitched me headfirst into a barbed-wire fence. Cut me all to hell, but I just packed a bunch of sand into the wounds and finished out the day."

The second cowboy said, " Well, just last month I was ambushed by four Indians while riding the fenceline......three of them put arrows into me and my horse, and my horse fell on my leg and broke it in two places. Managed to kill them all, then dragged myself across 6 miles of hardpan to make it back to the ranch."

They both looked expectantly at the third cowboy, but he didn't say anything.......just sat there quietly, stirring the campfire with his penis......

"When in doubt I whip it out,
I got me a rock-and-roll band.
It's a free-for-all."