JerryBaumchen 1,468 #1 August 30, 2010 NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! JerryBaumchen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #2 August 30, 2010 You had better install a disclaimer or Quade will think you plagerized someone's work and get really really annoyed.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #3 August 30, 2010 QuoteYou had better install a disclaimer or Quade will think you plagerized someone's work and get really really annoyed. ROFL.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #4 August 31, 2010 Quote Quote You had better install a disclaimer or Quade will think you plagerized someone's work and get really really annoyed. ROFL.... Ditto! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #5 August 31, 2010 Let's go grab a beer, DickheadNobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 8 #6 August 31, 2010 QuoteLet's go grab a beer, Dickhead Aint you got a woman to bring them to ya?"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #7 August 31, 2010 Quote Quote Let's go grab a beer, Dickhead Aint you got a woman to bring them to ya? DOH!I'll bring Keith a beer anyday . . . exept during jumping hours . . .I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #8 September 1, 2010 Quote Quote Quote Let's go grab a beer, Dickhead Aint you got a woman to bring them to ya? DOH!I'll bring Keith a beer anyday . . . exept during jumping hours . . . You'll make somebody a good wife one of these days.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #9 September 1, 2010 Quote Quote Quote Quote Let's go grab a beer, Dickhead Aint you got a woman to bring them to ya? DOH!I'll bring Keith a beer anyday . . . exept during jumping hours . . . You'll make somebody a good wife one of these days. Nah - I don't have long hair to grab onto when getting it from behind.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #10 September 1, 2010 Quote Quote You'll make somebody a good wife one of these days. Nah - I don't have long hair to grab onto when getting it from behind. You finally shaved your back?You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #11 September 1, 2010 Quote Quote Quote You'll make somebody a good wife one of these days. Nah - I don't have long hair to grab onto when getting it from behind. You finally shaved your back? NairI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
