I don't make this up

[happythoughts 0]

It's my new personal thread. In the past, I have found stuff and posted it with the above title - repeatedly.
(If you search for "make this up" and my ID, you'll see what I mean.)

To save time, I'm going to keep it in one place.

Todays entry?

sports

(Personally, I still think that this is a spoof piece)

Quote

Pole dancing supporters hope for Olympic status
by FOXSports.com

A group of supporters has started a petition to get pole dancing into the Olympic games.

It's not what you might think. Often associated with strip clubs, pole dancing is also an increasingly popular way for women to stay in shape.

"It's automatically assumed it has something to do with stripping," Lizz Schofield, owner of a Utah dance studio where "Pole Fitness" is in vogue, told KUTV.com, the Web site for a Salt Lake-area CBS affiliate. "But this is not stripping at all."

Dammit.

Quote

The petition does not indicate how many signatures it is seeking, but there were over 500 signatures as of Friday afternoon.

I could have gotten that many this afternoon.

Quote

"This takes grace, fluidity and strength. It's on par with ice skating and everything else in the Olympics," said Coombs, according to KUTV.com.

Sure... almost exactly the same.

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"We are some of the safest, most skilled athletes," Schofield said. "I liken it a lot to rock climbing."

I know... just what you were thinking... almost exactly like rock climbing. (except the implants are softer now)

Quote

Pole dancing would also have to, among other requirements, adopt and implement the World Anti-Doping Code.

Rats. There goes the entrants from the Pink Palace.


I'm wondering if during the finals, they have a "lap dancing" portion of the competition.

"Thank you... thank you... Starr. And now, our next contestant... Jade Lexxxus."

[Squeak 17]

Google "BLOKES WORLD" they have been petitioning for Olympic poledancing for years

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[BillyVance 35]

I had just posted about this and then read your thread, not knowing what you were talking about before entering... oh well, you beat me to it...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[JohnMitchell 16]

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"Thank you... thank you... Starr. And now, our next contestant... Jade Lexxxus."

And instead of going to the podium for their medals, they could all meet up "on the center stage, girls."

[happythoughts 0]

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... not knowing what you were talking about

Historically, my problem.


It is amazing the things that people are doing.

I love the internet. It's like Jerry Springer with 91% fewer rednecks.

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Quote

"Thank you... thank you... Starr. And now, our next contestant... Jade Lexxxus."

And instead of going to the podium for their medals, they could all meet up "on the center stage, girls."

A while back, two girls lived in the apartment across from me.
Late in the evening, they would pose with customer for pictures.
Sit in your lap and smile while wearing a t-back.

I was kidding a guy at work about his pic of his g/f and he retorted that I had no pic of my g/f. I said I would bring one in.
So... you see where this is going.

[JohnMitchell 16]

Nice!

[popsjumper 2]

Quote

you see where this is going.

Show me the pic!

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[happythoughts 0]

clicky

Another episode of the "I don't make this up".

Two criminal "masterminds" are escaping from prison
and sprint across the parking lot.
It doesn't appear that they thought it completely through.

[Squeak 17]

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[happythoughts 0]

Ah...yes, another tale from the land of tail.

(There is also a clicky for the 911 call audio on the website)

clicky

Quote

Woman to 911: Help! I'm locked inside my car
Amy L. Edwards | Sentinel Staff Writer
9:45 AM EDT, April 1, 2009

A 911 dispatcher had to tell a woman how to unlock her car on Sunday.

A woman called Kissimmee police to say she was locked inside her car at the Walgreen's on John Young Parkway near Poinciana.

"My car will not start. I'm locked inside my car," the unidentified woman said.

"Nothing electrical works. And it's getting very hot in here, and I'm not feeling well."

However, a dispatcher with a vast knowledge of automobile
mechanics was available to provide a solution.

Quote

The dispatcher asked the woman if she was able to manually pull the lock up on the door.


The woman said she would try, and then, she said, "Yes, I got the door open."

... I just hope that she was able to make it on time to her
"date" with Normiss.

[ryoder 1,590]

Remember this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrt2q6Mpeyc

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[iluvtofly 0]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq6b9bMBXpg

[ryoder 1,590]

Quote

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq6b9bMBXpg

See kids? This is what happens when a country legalizes drug use.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,590]

This is great: A guy is paid to have sex with his neighbor's former beauty queen wife.
(WTF??? Shouldn't the money being going the other direction?)

Then after 6 months of...uh...trying, it turns out the guy was sterile.

Then in the next-to-last paragraph, it really gets good.

http://classicfun.ws/paid-to-do-it-but-fails-to-make-his-friends-wife-pregnant-after-72-attempts/2009/04/01

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bolas 5]

Quote

This is great: A guy is paid to have sex with his neighbor's former beauty queen wife.
(WTF??? Shouldn't the money being going the other direction?)

Then after 6 months of...uh...trying, it turns out the guy was sterile.

Then in the next-to-last paragraph, it really gets good.



http://classicfun.ws/paid-to-do-it-but-fails-to-make-his-friends-wife-pregnant-after-72-attempts/2009/04/01

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

This is great: A guy is paid to have sex with his neighbor's former beauty queen wife.
(WTF??? Shouldn't the money being going the other direction?)

Then after 6 months of...uh...trying, it turns out the guy was sterile.

Then in the next-to-last paragraph, it really gets good.

http://classicfun.ws/paid-to-do-it-but-fails-to-make-his-friends-wife-pregnant-after-72-attempts/2009/04/01

Geez, some people get all the good jobs.


I saw a PBS documentary on that stuff.
They said that 20% of all wives cheated.

They also said that women cheated with better
looking guys, so they were more interested.
Hence, more sex and orgasms, so a better chance
of pregnancy.

Somebody did some math and determined that
10% of the children had a different father than the
husband.

[BillyVance 35]

That. Was. Awesome.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[happythoughts 0]

No... I didn't make this up...

I have had my theories on the economy and market strength of
certain companies. Now, validation at last.

You have been asking yourself, "Why have certain Japanese car
companies been doing well while GM sinks?"

Goats. clicky

Quote

NZPA

May 28, 2009 12:00am

MITSUBISHI Motors in New Zealand is offering a free goat with every Triton ute sold before August in a novel effort at correcting the economy.

You've got to admit, you never hear GM offer free goats.
It's always a new bed-liner or GPS.

Quote

Mitsubishi Motors New Zealand general sales and marketing manager Peter Wilkins said the economy's recovery was in the hands of the rural sector, and goats, like Tritons, were "hardy, versatile units which will integrate directly into existing farm operations''.

Integrated marketing approach. Very nice.

Quote

Goats improved farm productivity by defending against weeds, were cheaper than toxic sprays, and there was no risk of goat flu affecting the tourism industry, he told NZPA.

Links to the ecology and reducing global warming...
and no goat flu from products built in Mexico.

(These guys are wizards. Something for everybody)

Quote

"We are aware that three years of drought has severely depleted sheep and beef populations, so what better time to float the goat?''

"Float the goat" ? A viral catch-phrase to drive the campaign.

But, let's face it, what if you have a healthy supply of goats already?
They are there with a supply of other types of shiny trinkets.

Quote

If the purchaser already had enough goats, Mitsubishi would supply a no-goat package including a five-year/100,000km extended warranty, five free warrant of fitness inspections, 5000km road user charges, five years of roadside assistance and $500 of genuine or approved Triton accessories.

I'll admit, I saw this coming months ago.
Does anyone listen to me? No.
The only response I get is, "Go away. Goats are not the answer."

I hope that they are adult enough to admit who is right.
Just in time for the discussion about naming the
new GM CEO I might add.

[happythoughts 0]

The attached pic is of a sticker on a vending machine at work.

If the pic isn't too clear...

Quote

Notice to Customers:
Florida law requires this notice
to posted on all food and
beverage vending machines.
Report all violations to (number)...

Thoughts ?

I was thinking of giving them a call.

Theoretical conversation...
"Hello, I am calling to tell you that our vending
machine does not have a sticker on it."
"What sticker?"
"The one required by law. It says to call this number. The sticker is missing."

...another productive day at work.

[happythoughts 0]

So... I'm doing the law-abiding citizen thing.
Stepping off the curb at the official crosswalk.

I get to the other side and... whuh?

All the other ones are normal. It's just this one.
Out in front of Subway.

[BillyVance 35]

Quote

So... I'm doing the law-abiding citizen thing.
Stepping off the curb at the official crosswalk.

I get to the other side and... whuh?

All the other ones are normal. It's just this one.
Out in front of Subway.

The pic is really small... so what's the deal?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[normiss 892]

You'll need "Bill Glasses" to see it I think.

[JohnMitchell 16]

I think it's the jump through the shrubbery in the concrete median.

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Quote

So... I'm doing the law-abiding citizen thing.
Stepping off the curb at the official crosswalk.

I get to the other side and... whuh?

All the other ones are normal. It's just this one.
Out in front of Subway.

The pic is really small... so what's the deal?

The pic is from my phone, so it is only so good.

In the parking lot, there are six crosswalks.
They have a slope off the sidewalk into a marked lane.
On the far side, the curb is divided and the path continues... on all of them except this one.

On this one, there is a curb on the other side.
You would have to walk over the curb and through the
bushes to use it. Not too handy with a shopping cart.

Kinda defeats the purpose.