marriage stats

[happythoughts 0]

WSJ

Quote

But data released Tuesday by the Census Bureau show that for the first time the proportion of people between the ages of 25 and 34 who have never been married exceeded those who were married in 2009—46.3% versus 44.9%

The article blames some of it on the economy, but that is
a fairly recent change. The decrease has been going
on since 1960.
Perhaps the Pill has reduced the problems of sex.
People can have sex without pregnancy.

A few years ago, someone wrote that the average
male in Italy was still living with his parents and
most didn't marry before 29.

Quote

While marriage has fallen among younger people, the probability of getting married at some point in life still remains at about 90%.

So, at some point, it happens, but not as early as
it used to.
There is of a stigma to living together in the early years.

[ryoder 1,590]

Quote

Quote

While marriage has fallen among younger people, the probability of getting married at some point in life still remains at about 90%.

Well, so far, I'm still beating the odds.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[d_squared431 0]

Quote

While marriage has fallen among younger people, the probability of getting married at some point in life still remains at about 90%.

Many many yrs ago I believed in marriage and thought one day I would get married. Now a bit older and wiser, I do not see any real reason anyone has to get married. If you are happy in the relationship you are in, why add marriage to the mix? You have to pay to get married, pay to get divorced, in many cases continue to pay the after wards, and then you lose half you shit.

Only way I would ever say yes to get married is if I lost my damn mind.


I am a FEMALE saying this.

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[LisaH 0]

NEVER!!

Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

[The_Don 0]

Quote

Quote

While marriage has fallen among younger people, the probability of getting married at some point in life still remains at about 90%.

Many many yrs ago I believed in marriage and thought one day I would get married. Now a bit older and wiser, I do not see any real reason anyone has to get married. If you are happy in the relationship you are in, why add marriage to the mix? You have to pay to get married, pay to get divorced, in many cases continue to pay the after wards, and then you lose half you shit.

Only way I would ever say yes to get married is if I lost my damn mind.


I am a FEMALE saying this.

Great post.


ETA, Glad I married, without her.. Can't say were I'd be now.

I am NOT being loud.
I'm being enthusiastic!

[Arvoitus 1]

More and more men are realizing what a huge shit sandwich marriage really is.

http://mensnewsdaily.com/2007/11/14/do-not-marry-do-not-have-children/

Quote

Marriage is a foundation of civilized life. No advanced civilization has ever existed without the married, two-parent family. Those who argue that our civilization needs healthy marriages to survive are not exaggerating.

And yet I cannot, in good conscience, urge young men to marry today. For many men (and some women), marriage has become nothing less than a one-way ticket to jail. Even the New York Times has reported on how easily “the divorce court leads to a jail cell,” mostly for men. In fact, if I have one urgent piece of practical advice for young men today it is this: Do not marry and do not have children.

Spreading this message may also, in the long run, be the most effective method of saving marriage as an institution. For until we understand that the principal threat to marriage today is not cultural but political, and that it comes not from homosexuals but from heterosexuals, we will never reverse the decline of marriage. The main destroyer of marriage, it should be obvious, is divorce. Michael McManus of Marriage Savers points out that “divorce is a far more grievous blow to marriage than today’s challenge by gays.” The central problem is the divorce laws.

It is well known that half of all marriages end in divorce. But widespread misconceptions lead many to believe it cannot happen to them. Many conscientious people think they will never be divorced because they do not believe in it. In fact, it is likely to happen to you whether you wish it or not.

First, you do not have to agree to the divorce or commit any legal transgression. Under “no-fault” divorce laws, your spouse can divorce you unilaterally without giving any reasons. The judge will then grant the divorce automatically without any questions.

But further, not only does your spouse incur no penalty for breaking faith; she can actually profit enormously. Simply by filing for divorce, your spouse can take everything you have, also without giving any reasons. First, she will almost certainly get automatic and sole custody of your children and exclude you from them, without having to show that you have done anything wrong. Then any unauthorized contact with your children is a crime. Yes, for seeing your own children you will be subject to arrest.

There is no burden of proof on the court to justify why they are seizing control of your children and allowing your spouse to forcibly keep you from them. The burden of proof (and the financial burden) is on you to show why you should be allowed to see your children.

The divorce industry thus makes it very attractive for your spouse to divorce you and take your children. (All this earns money for lawyers whose bar associations control the careers of judges.) While property divisions and spousal support certainly favor women, the largest windfall comes through the children. With custody, she can then demand “child support” that may amount to half, two-thirds, or more of your income. (The amount is set by committees consisting of feminists, lawyers, and enforcement agents – all of whom have a vested interest in setting the payments as high as possible.) She may spend it however she wishes. You pay the taxes on it, but she gets the tax deduction.

You could easily be left with monthly income of a few hundreds dollars and be forced to move in with relatives or sleep in your car. Once you have sold everything you own, borrowed from relatives, and maximized your credit cards, they then call you a “deadbeat dad” and take you away in handcuffs. You are told you have “abandoned” your children and incarcerated without trial.

Evidence indicates that, as men discover all this, they have already begun an impromptu marriage “strike”: refusing to marry or start families, knowing they can be criminalized if their wife files for divorce. “Have anti-father family court policies led to a men’s marriage strike?” ask Glenn Sacks and Dianna Thompson in the Philadelphia Enquirer. In Britain, fathers tour university campuses warning young men not to start families. In his book, From Courtship to Courtroom, Attorney Jed Abraham concludes that the only protection for men to avoid losing their children and everything else is not to start families in the first place.

Is it wise to disseminate such advice? If people stop marrying, what will become of the family and our civilization?

Marriage is already all but dead, legally speaking, and divorce is the principal reason. The fall in the Western birth rate is directly connected with divorce law.

It is also likely that same-sex marriage is being demanded only because of how heterosexuals have already debased marriage through divorce law. “The world of no-strings heterosexual hookups and 50% divorce rates preceded gay marriage,” advocate Andrew Sullivan points out. “All homosexuals are saying…is that, under the current definition, there’s no reason to exclude us. If you want to return straight marriage to the 1950s, go ahead. But until you do, the exclusion of gays is simply an anomaly – and a denial of basic civil equality.”

We will not restore marriage by burying our heads in the sand; nor simply by preaching to young people to marry, as the Bush administration’s government therapy programs now do. The way to restore marriage as an institution in which young people can place their trust, their children, and their lives is to make it an enforceable contract. We urgently need a national debate about divorce, child custody, and the terms under which the government can forcibly sunder the bonds between parents and their children. We owe it to future generations, if there are to be any.

Your rights end where my feelings begin.

[Nataly 38]

I saw a Ted.com lecturer who said divorces rates were actually on the decline (but that makes sense if marriage rates are also dropping)...

There are plenty of reasons that statistic makes sense to me. For one, my parents couldn't have lived together unless they got married first - now you can share your life with someone without tying the knot and that makes marriage less "important" to a lot of people.

Next, my generation has had it drilled into their heads that most marriages end in divorce anyway, so there is an entire generation of 20-somethings who don't "believe" in marriage as an institution. When my parents were my age, divorces were NOT frequent and most people grew up in a two-parent home so they had this model of marriage as being something more permanent.

Plus, let's not forget that women entering the workforce must have had a massive impact on marriages... When people have limited options / choices, they tend to make do with what they have and be as happy as they can be within those parameters... When people have lots of choices and lots of options, they are more willing to "quit" and move on to something else.

Interestingly, though, these extra choice/options don't necessarily lead to happier people - in fact the "paradox of choice" is that people tend to feel happier generally when they *aren't* given many choices. See this interesting lecture: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice.html Or this one: http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[OlympiaStoica 0]

Quote

Quote

While marriage has fallen among younger people, the probability of getting married at some point in life still remains at about 90%.

Many many yrs ago I believed in marriage and thought one day I would get married. Now a bit older and wiser, I do not see any real reason anyone has to get married. If you are happy in the relationship you are in, why add marriage to the mix? You have to pay to get married, pay to get divorced, in many cases continue to pay the after wards, and then you lose half you shit.

Only way I would ever say yes to get married is if I lost my damn mind.


I am a FEMALE saying this.

Right on ...

Been there and done that ... twice ... and I can tell you with certainty you are missing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. There is no fastest or more certain way to kill sex, romance, love ... than getting married. There are those that trully find their "soul mates" and make it work - they are trully blessed, but those are exceptions ...

I still encounter the miss-conception that as a female, if nobody puts a rock on your finger you are somehow less good, less worthy, less acomplished ... but if you find yourself wanting to get married just to prove them otherwise, you are screwing yourself (and not in a good way).

And ... lets not confuse being against marriage with being against committed relationships or monogamy - not the same thing ... at all.

O

[popsjumper 2]

I used to think all divorces were caused by women but that doesn't hold true any more since gay marriages came into vogue.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[jonstark 8]

Quote

Well, so far, I'm still beating the odds.

The Dude abides.

[OlympiaStoica 0]

Quote

I used to think all divorces were caused by women but that doesn't hold true any more since gay marriages came into vogue.

You “used to think” … but don’t exercise that skill anymore? You clearly didn’t before making this statement ...

O

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

Quote

I used to think all divorces were caused by women but that doesn't hold true any more since gay marriages came into vogue.

You “used to think” … but don’t exercise that skill anymore? You clearly didn’t before making this statement ...

O

As I understand it (Mostly fron Divot and some from Twardo and Ski) - the marriages are still mostly broken up into who is husband and who is wife.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[JohnMitchell 16]

Quote

Plus, let's not forget that women entering the workforce must have had a massive impact on marriages... When people have limited options / choices, they tend to make do with what they have and be as happy as they can be within those parameters... When people have lots of choices and lots of options, they are more willing to "quit" and move on to something else.

Interesting. When I was a kid, most divorces seemed to be caused, from my limited view, by the husbands leaving the wife for some sweet young thing. Now it does seem, at least in my circle, most divorces are the women telling the men "I'm moving on. You're moving out." Valinda is aghast at some of the choices she sees some of her friends making.

Quote

Interestingly, though, these extra choice/options don't necessarily lead to happier people - in fact the "paradox of choice" is that people tend to feel happier generally when they *aren't* given many choices. See this interesting lecture: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice.html Or this one: http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html

I'm going to watch those lectures when I have more time. (Getting ready for Chicks Rock right now.). But I certainly have seen that principle in action. It's most obvious in young kids when they get too many toys/presents/Christmas gifts.

I certainly like the simpler life. A little sun, a little rain, a little every now and then.

[Jewels 0]

I waited until I was 40 to get married. I had options before then, but just didn't want to live with any of those options for a lifetime. I ended up marrying my good friend and it's wonderful. We are very comfortable with each other and know each other well. We think very similarly, share a similar sense of humor, and have similar values. Our lives mesh well together and I like the synergy we have as a married couple.

I respect the decision not to marry and spent plenty of years being single myself. I was perfectly content that way, but marriage can be terrific, too. Maybe part of the key to my happiness is that we were both completely satisfied with who we were and the lives we had made for ourselves before we got married and we weren't looking for the other person to somehow complete us. I don't think everyone goes into marriage looking for that, but I've certainly known people who did.

There are a lot of reasons marriages fail, but I still believe in marriage and still think it has a lot to offer. I hope maybe other people are like I was and just wait longer to dive in instead of avoiding it altogether.

TPM Sister #102

[skyjumpenfool 2]

I think this is proof positive that us old farts were, and still are, better looking and sexier than all you youngons....

Birdshit & Fools Productions

"Son, only two things fall from the sky."

[Nataly 38]

Quote

I think this is proof positive that us old farts were, and still are, better looking and sexier than all you youngons....

You only *think* that because you're losing your eye-sight!!

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[Jewels 0]

Quote

I think this is proof positive that us old farts were, and still are, better looking and sexier than all you youngons....

LOL! Okay, I'm good with that interpretation!

TPM Sister #102

[turtlespeed 226]

Quote

Quote

I think this is proof positive that us old farts were, and still are, better looking and sexier than all you youngons....

LOL! Okay, I'm good with that interpretation!

According to Nataly, it's only because you have cataracts.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Jewels 0]

Quote

Quote

Quote

I think this is proof positive that us old farts were, and still are, better looking and sexier than all you youngons....

LOL! Okay, I'm good with that interpretation!

According to Nataly, it's only because you have cataracts.

Yeah, but I won't hold it against her because I'm old and forget quickly.

TPM Sister #102

[Southern_Man 0]

Quote

Right on ...

Been there and done that ... twice ... and I can tell you with certainty you are missing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. There is no fastest or more certain way to kill sex, romance, love ... than getting married. There are those that trully find their "soul mates" and make it work - they are trully blessed, but those are exceptions ...

I still encounter the miss-conception that as a female, if nobody puts a rock on your finger you are somehow less good, less worthy, less acomplished ... but if you find yourself wanting to get married just to prove them otherwise, you are screwing yourself (and not in a good way).

And ... lets not confuse being against marriage with being against committed relationships or monogamy - not the same thing ... at all.

O

I pretty much agree 100% with this post, as a guy. The only exception is that I would clarify that I am only against marriage for myself. If somebody else wants to get married and make it work then I am happy for them. I've been there and done that. Not going there again.

The guy who posted the article about the divorce industry and what is does to guys is frighteningly correct as well. I don't think anybody should get married (or divorced) for money but the fact is that women often benefit financially from divorce and it is a horrible decision for any guy to get married if he does nto understand that reality.

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

[OlympiaStoica 0]

Quote

... but the fact is that women often benefit financially from divorce ...

Often? Perhaps ... Always? Not at at all ...

The day I got confirmation of my (ex)husband cheating, I packed my clothes and moved out. He kept the house and everything in it ... including our dog .

O

[TiaDanger 0]

I like your post. It seems that the people who are against marriage have experienced a bad marriage because of the person they chose to marry. Im 26 years old with a wonderful boyfriend (celebrated three years together yesterday, actually
It seems as if marriage as an institution shouldn't be to blame, but rather the combination of the two people that share the union, and the changes the individuals make toward each other when the world 'husband' and 'wife' are now taped on their foreheads.

And for the record: the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is jet pack, hover board, transporter, Batmobile, and THEN giant ant.
D.S. #8.8

[Jewels 0]

Congratulations on a good three years together! That's something to celebrate. It sounds like the two of you have a strong foundation.

I know every marriage isn't idyllic, but I'm glad there's hope for it as an institution.

TPM Sister #102

[Southern_Man 0]

Quote

I like your post. It seems that the people who are against marriage have experienced a bad marriage because of the person they chose to marry. Im 26 years old with a wonderful boyfriend (celebrated three years together yesterday, actually

I admit that my cynicism towards marriage is colored by my own painful experience. However, that also resulted in a good bit of reflection. It seems from your post that you have a happy, great relationship. That is awesome. All those qualities you have in your relationship are not conferred by the governement or changed by a piece of paper. You can continue to have all those things even if you never get married.

Marriage is really only a property contract, giving you rights to his stuff and him rights to your stuff. It does no determine anything about the quality of your relationship. However, should things change in the future (and lots of things can't be forseen, like one partner deciding to be unfaithful) it will make the process of splitting vastly more complicated and expensive.

I see personally very little to gain and a lot to lose from getting married.

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

[Arvoitus 1]

Quote

Quote

... but the fact is that women often benefit financially from divorce ...

Often? Perhaps ... Always? Not at at all ...

The day I got confirmation of my (ex)husband cheating, I packed my clothes and moved out. He kept the house and everything in it ... including our dog .

O

But you had the option to have it all had you made a claim for it whereas a man wouldn't have stand a chance to get anything.

Women in that situation have more options then men. Just like women have a choice between becoming a house wife or a wage slave they have a choice to walk away from marriage or get everything through divorce.

Your rights end where my feelings begin.