airdvr 210 #1 December 7, 2010 My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home! A hooker once told me she had a headache. I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service. If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.' I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off. I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.' My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skycamefalling 0 #2 December 8, 2010 Haha Speedracer~I predict that Michael Jackson will rise from the dead. And that a giant radioactive duck will emerge from the ocean and eat Baltimore. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #3 December 8, 2010 "Can't we all just get along?" - Rodney Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #4 December 8, 2010 Wrong! I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #5 December 8, 2010 Quote Wrong! Not wrong. It's a quote from a guy named "Rodney", which seems to be the subject of this thread. Therefore it's just as "correct" as the other Rodney quotes. "No one was either Tory or Whig; it was either dependence or independence." - Rodney Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
