shah269 0 #26 January 31, 2011 7.5 years almost to the day.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #27 January 31, 2011 Quote7.5 years almost to the day. Well, that doesn't mean my theory is wrong... If you consider a "normal" relationship... It takes maybe a couple of years to start to know the person, then a couple more to find out if you're truly compatible, and then you might get married... If you start with a whirlwind romance, and quickly go to marriage... Well, it can take a longer time to really get to know each-other because there are a lot of incentives to make it work... The fact that you also have very strong feelings associated with this person can mean it takes much longer to realise/accept that you are not compatible. The worst thing is you don't see it coming..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #28 January 31, 2011 Quote The thing is that when you meet someone within unusual circumstances (travelling, jumping, abroad, during a traumatic event), you are likely to have stronger feelings associated with this person without actually really knowing them... So you feel a very strong connection that doesn't in fact have a solid foundation. Interesting. I never really thought of it that way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 616 #29 January 31, 2011 Shah I am sure someone else has mentioned it already but I wouldn't beat yourself up. 7.5 years of marriage and a sudden ending. Honestly there are people who will do alot to gain entry into certain countries. The USA is a lovely place you might have been her "green card". You've already mentioned the embassy were wary for whatever reason. My money is on the above scenario. At the end of the day it is nice to have someone you can share your life with but it is far from essential. A close friend(s) (male or female) can keep you going for life.Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #30 January 31, 2011 The worst thing is you don't see it coming... Yeah...I know no one will believe it but...like I said one day we are planning a trip to New Orleans and the next I get a text. As for the green card, she was Finnish...green cards are not that hard to get from Finland. And very few people leave Finland.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #31 January 31, 2011 Quote The worst thing is you don't see it coming... Yeah...I know no one will believe it but...like I said one day we are planning a trip to New Orleans and the next I get a text. As for the green card, she was Finnish...green cards are not that hard to get from Finland. And very few people leave Finland. I *do* believe it... It was a total shock to me when I realised my ex didn't love me anymore - even though he had been unhappy in the relationship for like a year or maybe even more!!! Looking back I now see there were problems, but at the time I certainly didn't realise the problems were within the relationship - at the time I thought the problems were to do with work/study/stress... But the good news is that it is possible to move on even if it takes *ages*... Like you, I used DZ.com to vent and get over this really difficult period in my life. I think this was good and bad... It was good in the sense that it helped me get over it... It was bad in the sense that some people on here know me only from this context. But oh well.. If a hand-full of people think I'm a complete twat I can live with that!!! I'm happier than I've ever been, so bollocks to those who didn't like all the boo-hoo-ing it took to get to back to my "normal" self!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flashpipe 1 #32 January 31, 2011 Shah, Back in Oct. my wife of 6 years (10 together, with 2 young kids) suddenly told me our personalities just weren't compatible and she wanted a divorce. She was sleeping with someone else within 3 weeks of me moving out and, at first, the emotions and betrayal were overwhelming, but, it gets better with time. Every day is easier. I see the kids all the time and my time with them is better, "quality" time where I can focus entirely on them. I'm looking forward to getting my life going again. Focusing on myself, getting my confidence, happiness and enjoyment of life back! If you need someone else to make you happy, you'll never have what it takes to make someone else happy. Life is an amazing thing. LIVE IT!! I'm sooo looking forward to getting back in the air and jumping again. I stopped 5 years ago at her request and, even though we're almost divorced, she's already asked me to not start jumping again (for the sake of the kids), but, at this point, that's MY decision and I am aware of the risks, but am also aware of the fact that I want my kids to know that they should pursue what they love and that they can do anything they want. Blue skies... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #33 January 31, 2011 flashpipe Bro 3 weeks! WTF is wrong with her! I mean really! That's inexcusable. I'm sorry about the kids. The best thing I ever did was not have kids. Everyone and their brother wanted my x and I to have kids. All this BS about "you two are so perfect for each other and would make great parents....." HA! I may be out $10k in legal fees but thank god I don't have to worry about paying for the kids or having to deal with that trauma! But I'll be honest with you, after this....I'm never having kids. I use to joke about it before and thinking ok one day maybe....but now after this? After all the time, i don't care too much about the money, i invested? All the effort and the things I did to have this person in my life. And then the subsequent investment in assisting her with her education....I would have to be bat shit crazy to even consider having kids with anyone. How do you trust anyone? Hell mate do you think you will? I know I wont. As I told a friend on my recent trip to Asia, "I trust a ragged out rented parachute more than I currently trust any woman I have ever met." Is it wrong to think that way? I think so. But the risks....man that's just way too high. It was bad in the sense that some people on here know me only from this context. But oh well.. If a hand-full of people think I'm a complete twat I can live with that!!! LaughLaugh Join the club We should start a club, "The Flying Twats" TFT's for short! Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,587 #34 January 31, 2011 QuoteYou know Wendy these things don't come with an incident report you know.You have to write your own incident report. And the more honest you are about it, the better it is (kind of like in skydiving, too). It's not easy, and there are no guarantees that it's perfect. Also like in skydiving. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ManagingPrime 0 #35 January 31, 2011 Do anything and everthing not to think about her. Sooner or later you wont. Then after that you will be cruising along enjoying life and get blindsided by someone else. Life's grand like that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #36 January 31, 2011 Quote Do anything and everthing not to think about her. Sooner or later you wont. Then after that you will be cruising along enjoying life and get blindsided by someone else. Life's grand like that. +1 REALLY agree with this "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #37 February 1, 2011 Quote Do anything and everthing not to think about her. Sooner or later you wont. Then after that you will be cruising along enjoying life and get blindsided by someone else. Life's grand like that. Well that's what the freaking MBA program is all about and looking forward to spring. Kind of hard when you are stuck in a condo you bought together and you can't unload it due to it being slightly under water! But eh.....what can you do? I guess the theories are right. 1-5 years. New job, new house and new friends.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roxxx 0 #38 February 2, 2011 Quote Ew. Fake boobs. A five head. Not that pretty of a pussy IMO. Fake, squeaky porn squeals are a major turn off. Her shit stinks too. No matter how hot she is, someone, somewhere is tired of her shit. meh. I have a much hotter chick in mind... I'm told rejection is often followed by insults. Feel better? sigh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #39 February 5, 2011 Here's something to ponder... what would YOU do when you've been apart for years, she's been shacked up with a nice guy and then all of a sudden she's messaging you, showing up at your house telling you she was wrong all along, she was a fool, she should've treated you better and she wants you back... forever? Hmmm....Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #40 February 5, 2011 QuoteHere's something to ponder... what would YOU do when you've been apart for years, she's been shacked up with a nice guy and then all of a sudden she's messaging you, showing up at your house telling you she was wrong all along, she was a fool, she should've treated you better and she wants you back... forever? Hmmm.... "911 Emergency operator, what is your emergency?" "There is a tresspasser on my porch, I have asked them to leave, they insist on entry." "We'll send someone over, do you wish to stay on the line?" Easy Peasy JapaneezyI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #41 February 7, 2011 Quote Quote Here's something to ponder... what would YOU do when you've been apart for years, she's been shacked up with a nice guy and then all of a sudden she's messaging you, showing up at your house telling you she was wrong all along, she was a fool, she should've treated you better and she wants you back... forever? Hmmm.... "911 Emergency operator, what is your emergency?" "There is a tresspasser on my porch, I have asked them to leave, they insist on entry." "We'll send someone over, do you wish to stay on the line?" Easy Peasy Japaneezy Man, if you only knew... Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #42 February 7, 2011 Quote Here's something to ponder... what would YOU do when you've been apart for years, she's been shacked up with a nice guy and then all of a sudden she's messaging you, showing up at your house telling you she was wrong all along, she was a fool, she should've treated you better and she wants you back... forever? Hmmm.... I say take her back, get videos of all the hot steamy sex and then post it, you know we all want to see you with another hot chick! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #43 February 7, 2011 Quote Here's something to ponder... what would YOU do when you've been apart for years, she's been shacked up with a nice guy and then all of a sudden she's messaging you, showing up at your house telling you she was wrong all along, she was a fool, she should've treated you better and she wants you back... forever? Invite her over for a hot session and then put her out on the porch when you're done. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #44 February 7, 2011 Quote Quote Here's something to ponder... what would YOU do when you've been apart for years, she's been shacked up with a nice guy and then all of a sudden she's messaging you, showing up at your house telling you she was wrong all along, she was a fool, she should've treated you better and she wants you back... forever? Invite her over for a hot session and then put her out on the porch send her to popsjumper trailer when you're done. FIFY Always looking out for you Andy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #45 February 7, 2011 Quote Here's something to ponder... what would YOU do when you've been apart for years, she's been shacked up with a nice guy and then all of a sudden she's messaging you, showing up at your house telling you she was wrong all along, she was a fool, she should've treated you better and she wants you back... forever? Hmmm.... Every guy wants this to happen. A woman admitting she was wrong? I mean talk about a cold day in hell right? But let's say it does. What would Shah do? Well simple, smile and close the door and go make myself a cup of tea. A man has to above all have self respect and know his own self worth. And I know full well I'm worth more than that. Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #46 February 7, 2011 I had it happen, it only took her 25 yearsIt was half assed at that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #47 February 7, 2011 It's all about self respect. Pease don't get me wrong, she was and I'm sure is a very cool girl. I was very lucky to have been married to her for as long as it lasted and those were some of the best years of my life and maybe just maybe I'll get lucky again and find someone as equally amazing as her. That being said. I have a bit of self respect for myself. I may not be the end all and be all, though the voices in my head seem to think I am, but as I said a man has to have a given level of self respect. I would not slam the door in her face, i would not say anything rude. I'm sure I would just say "Thank you but no thank you." and quietly close the door. I have no real clue who I am, for 8 years I was a husband and a friend to a very cool person who I would have done anything for. But now? Now it's about me. And I have to figure out what "I" want and what "I" need and not be worried about what others think. And that really is not an easy thing to do.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #48 February 7, 2011 She probably had some issues with poor self esteem, many of us do. I know this to be true in some of the smartest, most accomplished and good looking people I have ever met. I do it to myself all the time, always thinking I am not good enough, I think it comes from a lifetime of being put down by others who were insecure, plus me always getting the short version of anything I achieved. I have done many things but always got the 20min briefing type of thing instead of the school. I think there are a few of us here who got that same shaft I got. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #49 February 7, 2011 I don't think I got the shaft. I mean OK life could have been a little easier here or there but, I look around and well....I have great friends, I'm in good health and I'm still young at 34. Yeah my head looks like an egg and I wish I were a few inches taller, boy you girls are really picky about dating guys uner 5'10", and who wouldn't want a bit more cash. But I think I'm "OK". Yeah it sucks I got divorced via text message and yeah it does suck that my "perfect trajectory" was blown out of the water and yeah it does stink that dating is all a numbers game where you have to hedg one date with anoteher just to never be let down. But....well it could be much worse. I'm just trying to figure out who the hell I am? Try to get some level of Zen in my life. After all it's one thing to type as if you are all cock and balls, it's another to walk as if you are all cock and balls. And in a funny way...the ladies just seem to love that cock and balls. Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #50 February 7, 2011 Quit trying and it might happen for you, just like skydiving the harder you try, the worse it gets. A friend of mine waited until he was 53 to get married to a wonderful woman, she is a cardiologist and a former model, plus she jumps his bones every chance she gets and won't take no for an answer. He waited so long to date seriously people started thinking he was gay. Heck he isn't even a good looking guy by most standards plus has a belly. but he is a really brilliant guy and one of the kindest people on earth. I guess she saw that after a life of dating guys who only wanted her money or body. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
