BaronVonBoll 0 #1 February 12, 2011 From the start I want it known that this is a friendly disagreement between me and a lifelong friend. The results of this court will not affect the friendship in the least. This is more tongue in cheek than any thing else. Situation. My Friend has come to stay with me for a few weeks. One day while I was at work he indulged himself with an entire package of Oreo Cookies and milk. Upon coming home I prepared my favorite chair with book glass of milk and Uh oh NO OREOS. He then went to the store and returned with store brand sandwich cookies. These are the facts and are undisputed. Now... it is in my opinion that store brand sandwich coolies can and in no manner ever take the place of OREO cookies. The certain sense of satisfaction obtained from Oreo with just the right milk absorbtion properties cannot be attained from the store brands that have a tendency to either not mix well with milk or fall apart when dunked. I say he owes me a new package of oreos. His position. Oreos and store brands ar fundamentaly the same thing. It is only percieverd satisfaction from a name brand that puts value on Oreoes rathe than the store brand. Further he should be thanked for opening my eyes to the prospect of saving money on less expensive and virtually equal product I.E. Generics. He says I should be satisfied with what I have and be gratwefull that he bought anything at all as he is my guest and hospitality rules state that the guest should get what he wants. Rebuttal Hospitality rules apply to everything but my wife and my Oreos!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
labrys 0 #2 February 12, 2011 Was your wife smiling when you got home? Oh...edit. yeah, some things generic are ok. Oreos, however, must be Oreos.Owned by Remi #? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #3 February 12, 2011 Quote Oreos and store brands ar fundamentaly the same thing. It is only percieverd satisfaction from a name brand that puts value on Oreoes rathe than the store brand. Further he should be thanked for opening my eyes to the prospect of saving money on less expensive and virtually equal product I.E. Generics. He says I should be satisfied with what I have and be gratwefull that he bought anything at all as he is my guest and hospitality rules state that the guest should get what he wants. He owes you Oreos. Guests only get what they want when they're paying for it, as at a hotel. You might remind him that needing to pay for a hotel room next time will be way more expensive than a bag of Oreos. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #4 February 12, 2011 Oreos are Oreos and anything else isn't. What the hell was he thinking bringing back anything other than the real deal?quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BaronVonBoll 0 #5 February 12, 2011 QuoteOreos are Oreos and anything else isn't. What the hell was he thinking bringing back anything other than the real deal? Thank you! my point exactly!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KevinP 0 #6 February 12, 2011 Quote Oreos are Oreos and anything else isn't. Agreed. There is no substitution. As a matter of fact, the knock-offs are pretty heinous. He owes you Oreos and, IMO, he should buy two packs. Punitive damages and all that. Sincerely, Kevin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rnicks 0 #7 February 12, 2011 He doesn't owe you anything (food is meant to be eaten) however, to replace Oreos with generic is just a slap in the face!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #8 February 12, 2011 QuoteFrom the start I want it known that this is a friendly disagreement between me and a lifelong friend. The results of this court will not affect the friendship in the least. This is more tongue in cheek than any thing else. Situation. My Friend has come to stay with me for a few weeks. One day while I was at work he indulged himself with an entire package of Oreo Cookies and milk. Upon coming home I prepared my favorite chair with book glass of milk and Uh oh NO OREOS. He then went to the store and returned with store brand sandwich cookies. These are the facts and are undisputed. Now... it is in my opinion that store brand sandwich coolies can and in no manner ever take the place of OREO cookies. The certain sense of satisfaction obtained from Oreo with just the right milk absorbtion properties cannot be attained from the store brands that have a tendency to either not mix well with milk or fall apart when dunked. I say he owes me a new package of oreos. His position. Oreos and store brands ar fundamentaly the same thing. It is only percieverd satisfaction from a name brand that puts value on Oreoes rathe than the store brand. Further he should be thanked for opening my eyes to the prospect of saving money on less expensive and virtually equal product I.E. Generics. He says I should be satisfied with what I have and be gratwefull that he bought anything at all as he is my guest and hospitality rules state that the guest should get what he wants. Rebuttal Hospitality rules apply to everything but my wife and my Oreos!!!! Tell your boyfriend that if he touches your Oreo's again - he will be the subject of an oreo sammich that he will remember until he dies!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #9 February 12, 2011 What about toilet paper? A bag of Oreos are going to need some toilet paper sooner or later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #10 February 12, 2011 So many opportunities for puns and innuendos here... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #11 February 12, 2011 I had guests stay with me once who did some laundry while they were visiting. They were kind enough to buy a replacement container of laundry detergent, identical to the one they'd taken some detergent from. I chuckled because my brand loyalty on detergent goes as far as "whatever's on sale." But it was a kind and appreciated gesture nonetheless, even though they'd hardly used any of the detergent. However. Oreos is Oreos, and especially if you eat the whole package, you'd better be replacing it with the real thing."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #12 February 12, 2011 Your friend is a cheap ass fucktard that would drink your $10 a six pack beer and replace it with Natty Lite only after you pointed out that he drank your last beer. Trade him in on a new friend. There are certain things you don't skimp on, beer, PopTarts, Oreos,CokaCola Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrubin 0 #13 February 12, 2011 Quote Quote Oreos are Oreos and anything else isn't. Agreed. There is no substitution. As a matter of fact, the knock-offs are pretty heinous. He owes you Oreos and, IMO, he should buy two packs. Punitive damages and all that. +1"I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #14 February 12, 2011 Hands down, not even a question. You had Oreos, he should replace with Oreos. You should receive something in quality at least as good as what you had to begin with, and no one in their right mind would agree that "store brand" equals the true Oreo quality. That's a frivolous argument at best and the jury should assess the aforementioned punitive damages on that ground alone.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingJ 0 #15 February 12, 2011 QuoteThere are certain things you don't skimp on, beer, PopTarts, Oreos,CokaCola Agreed...Coca Cola being number one on the list. The others for me include Kraft Mac & Cheese (specifically Blues Clues and/or Shrek), Kraft singles, Skippy chunky peanut butter and Heinz ketchup. Pretty much everything else you can bring me a store brand. I really don't eat cookies, but I'm pretty sure if I was buying sandwich type cookies for me to eat they would most assuredly be Oreos. For a big group? Probably going cheap.Killing threads since 2004. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #16 February 12, 2011 ...get a rope! No, No! I would have a little 'set-down' and explain that anything other than 'genuine' Oreos is un-acceptable. chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 8 #17 February 12, 2011 I think we should get the official dz.com cookie queen to comment on this... Oh Deeeeeeeedy!"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jrmrangers 0 #18 February 12, 2011 No FRills brand is the same??? Thats like trading a Porsche for a Pinto!! They might have the same parts but thet are two different animals! Wait , I pull what first? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #19 February 12, 2011 Quote Oreos are Oreos and anything else isn't. What the hell was he thinking bringing back anything other than the real deal? +1 And your wife should provide you an oral favor as well. ( I was REALLY swayed by your argument.) I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #20 February 12, 2011 He owes you a new pack of Oreos, or the cash value thereof. No punitives are warranted because he wasn't willfully malicious. Your best bet is to decline the generics and return them to him unopened and uneaten. That way you can preserve your demand for a new pack of Oreos in full satisfaction of the debt. If you choose to accept the generics, either expressly or by the implication of eating some of them, you must make it clear that you are accepting them only in partial payment of the debt; otherwise you run the risk of being deemed to have accepted them in full satisfaction of the debt. However, be cautioned that if you do accept the generics, even in partial satisfaction of the debt, he may be permitted to satisfy the remainder of the debt by proffering less than a complete pack of Oreos, or the value equivalent thereof, either in cash or in kind. Or, you could just kick his ass. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #21 February 12, 2011 Quote I think we should get the official dz.com cookie queen to comment on this... Oh Deeeeeeeedy! I could have sworn you were going to say Divot!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccurley 1 #22 February 12, 2011 He gobbled up the whole bag?????Did he share his Pot with you?? I'm just saying!!!!! Watch my video Fat Women http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRWkEky8GoI Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billeisele 130 #23 February 13, 2011 give the offender a sex toy and say: It's just not same is it?Give one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #24 February 13, 2011 hmmmm so you're at Work.... while he is eating ALL of your Oreos, during his indeterminate Non Paying Stay at Your house.....,and thennnnnnn it's only AFTER you Look for, and Do NOT find said Oreos, that he gets Up and goes out to re-supply!!!then returns with a Pale imitation!!!! Uh Oh.. better check your next cable bill for pay per View Nudie Flicks..... Yes Sir Your Honor, we HAVE reached a Unanimous decision... Guilty as Charged.... so let it be written so let it be Done!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #25 February 13, 2011 Quote Quote There are certain things you don't skimp on, beer, PopTarts, Oreos,CokaCola Agreed...Coca Cola being number one on the list. The others for me include Kraft Mac & Cheese (specifically Blues Clues and/or Shrek), Kraft singles, Skippy chunky peanut butter and Heinz ketchup. . For me, you need to add to that list .. Heinz Baked Beanz Cabury Chocolate - but not since Kraft STOLE them HP Sauce BTW - Kraft singles are processed stuff NOT cheese.... and they're from Kraft so fuck em (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
