hcsvader 1 #26 February 18, 2010 Tell him to ask the doc for note for his wife saying that his head actually isn't stuck up his ass.Have you seen my pants? it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream >:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #27 February 18, 2010 A friend pointed out that my response to MakeItHappen is "Harsh-ish" I apologize for the phrasing.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nutz 0 #28 February 18, 2010 I just went to the doctor for the second part of my physical and when he was checking my prostate he had a hand on each of my shoulders was softly moaning and saying, "Oh yes!" Should I be concerned? (My girlfriend told me to go to my happy place. ) "Don't! Get! Eliminated!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stitch 0 #29 February 18, 2010 Quote Have a pal with one scheduled and I need about a three week supply of jokes to harass him with. So Turtle is full of shit ? "No cookies for you"- GFD "I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65 Don't be a "Racer Hater" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #30 February 18, 2010 Nope-one of my real friendsYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StangMan90 0 #31 February 18, 2010 I've been through two them and have a third scheduled next month. Just tell him that if he wants to maintain good health, he must find the strength to search deep inside himself.simplify Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nutz 0 #32 February 18, 2010 Quote I've been through two them and have a third scheduled next month. Just tell him that if he wants to maintain good health, he must find the strength to search deep inside himself. Do you have to have a license to buy the tools? "Don't! Get! Eliminated!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #33 April 25, 2011 A friend just IM'd Dave Barry's recent essay on his colonoscopy: http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nutz 0 #34 April 25, 2011 (This Dave Barry column was originally published Feb. 22, 2008.) I knew it was a repeat. I have not had the pleasure - yet. "Don't! Get! Eliminated!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #35 April 25, 2011 Damn. Didn't notice that. I just looked at the date above that. BTW His description of Movieprep is dead-on; I had that. "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #36 April 25, 2011 QuoteHave a pal with one scheduled and I need about a three week supply of jokes to harass him with. Please don't.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
monkycndo 0 #37 April 25, 2011 Quote Quote Have a pal with one scheduled and I need about a three week supply of jokes to harass him with. Please don't. Sheesh, some people don't have a sense of humor. I have had to drink the gallon of SuperFlush, or better known as ColonBlow. Cause it does, literally. Ya gotta make sure you have plenty of toilet paper on hand because you go through a lot wiping the splash back off yer buttcheeks.50 donations so far. Give it a try. You know you want to spank it Jump an Infinity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #38 April 25, 2011 Quote Damn. Didn't notice that. I just looked at the date above that. BTW His description of Movieprep is dead-on; I had that. Hi R This date thing is getting oldBut since I'm hereAll true trust me.We're on the frequent flyer club (anually or annaly) every year, whatever it The movieprepWomen Dr and a women nurse are going to give me some kind of a date rape drug. Without a male present and do what behind my backSome of the Female Dr's & nurses are about it, But the last time I woke up they have their subtle way's to get evenBeing a Muff bro helps Insurance card and Muff bro card at he same time works wondersVideo'sI'm gonna have to shop around for a Dr that has a video recorder or is willing to cut me a copy. All I get is colored pics of some stuff the Dr's find "interesting" I want video to add to me collection. Xmas video'sBeware of Male Dr's and ask who's going to be advancing, pushing scope. Woke up one time and my boss can here me in the waiting room in the middle of the procedure. "Male Dr stop screaming" Then stop hurting me Never went bqck to that "Group" again. IMO Women Dr's are much more gentler than a dude that worked his way thru school as a brick layer. _________________________________ One jump wonder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #39 April 25, 2011 What's he complainin' about? He's getting free butt secks. Don't mention tapeworms. They look as big as snakes on the video. Every nurse he sees will have seen the video. That explains the look on their faces. When you hear the loud rubber-sounding *SNAP!*. be afraid. Be very afraid.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GARYC24 3 #40 April 25, 2011 I'm having that done 5-20. Need to get Dulcolax, Miralax, gatorade. No red or purple liquids. And ride home! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #41 April 25, 2011 QuoteHave a pal with one scheduled and I need about a three week supply of jokes to harass him with. Swallow a pair of dice...makes for an interesting discussion later on. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChristianH 0 #42 April 26, 2011 I sent this link to a friend who was scheduled for a colonoscopy. He said he was watching it before and was laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMsPNI6EZE It is pretty darn funny! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #43 April 26, 2011 Quote I sent this link to a friend who was scheduled for a colonoscopy. He said he was watching it before and was laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMsPNI6EZE It is pretty darn funny! That was good! Here is another one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI1go72c5H8"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #44 April 26, 2011 Quote Cause it does, literally. Ya gotta make sure you have plenty of toilet paper on hand because you go through a lot wiping the splash back off yer buttcheeks. Just stay on the can, Stan, and shower when you're done. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #45 April 26, 2011 Quote We're on the frequent flyer club (anually or annaly) every year, Damn, that sucks. I had one a year or so ago and they said "See ya in 10 years."Must mean I'm a perfect A$$hole. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nutz 0 #46 April 26, 2011 Quote Must mean I'm a perfect A$$hole. I don't know you but that sounds about right. "Don't! Get! Eliminated!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #47 April 26, 2011 Hum, You know an FYI getting that "flush" is a great way to start losing weight and getting into shape. On average something like 15%-25% of your guts "size" is due to inflammation of your bowels. Over time "material" builds up and starts causing your body to fight back. This could be due to bad diet or an imbalanced bacterial base. One of the things people quickly notice when they have this kind of cleansing is that they "feel" better. And this is due to your intestines relaxing and all that built up fluids to disperse back into the system. And when they do that you have more room to breathe within your own skin. So to keep this going please tell your friend to work closely with a dietitian and or a doctor to rebuild his bacterial base after the cleansing. They will place him on a very restricted diet for a few weeks for the bacteria to rebuild. And when they do he will realize his tastes in food will change for the better. If he had a huge sweet tooth odds are it will go away or greatly be diminished. Another very + side effect is massive waste loss.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 599 #48 April 26, 2011 Quote Another very + side effect is massive waste loss. Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #49 April 26, 2011 Quote Quote Another very + side effect is massive waste loss. Well yeah ;-) You are not going to loose weight. But odds are he will loose a few inches off his gut due to the loss of waste that was causing an allergic reaction in his gut.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #50 April 26, 2011 Quote Quote Quote Another very + side effect is massive waste loss. Well yeah ;-) You are not going to loose weight. But odds are he will loose a few inches off his gut due to the loss of waste that was causing an allergic reaction in his gut. The intestine is a FIFO queue. There is no place for waste to backup."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites