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virgin-burner

family reunions that turn sour..

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so, a member of your family is an asshole. like, whenever they see you, first thing off, you're being told in what areas you fail. fine, i can handle that.

but if they start screaming over the tables, that's when i definitely have enough. without saying goodbye to anyone i left the party. fuck that.

i just feel sorry for the 5yr-old that had his big day today. :|

it's my choice to spend time with my family, but hey, i would imagine, i could spend it nicer any other way when that fucking bully is around.

i just got home and i'm still shaking. i've opened my first beer and now i'm gonna kill some people online, that's WAY more fun than hanging out with this fucking BASTARD!

rant over, thanks for listening.. >:(
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

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I've never understood the mindset that because someone is related, means you must socialize with them. I haven't seen a relative in person in 20 years, although I do understand that very few families are as dysfunctional as mine.
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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being related is one thing - but if they're your.. bleck, i get cramps in my stomach just thinking about it.

dayum, my MOM came running after me.. :(
"it's not the little one's fault!" - my answer: "i know" - and drove off.

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

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being related is one thing - but if they're your.. bleck, i get cramps in my stomach just thinking about it.

dayum, my MOM came running after me.. :(
"it's not the little one's fault!" - my answer: "i know" - and drove off.



Man, stop drinking before driving - open next beer bottle when you're at home. Only one, please!!

You can't choose your family members, it's God given, take it like a man.

;)

dudeist skydiver # 3105

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being related is one thing - but if they're your.. bleck, i get cramps in my stomach just thinking about it.

dayum, my MOM came running after me.. :(
"it's not the little one's fault!" - my answer: "i know" - and drove off.



Man, stop drinking before driving - open next beer bottle when you're at home. Only one, please!!

You can't choose your family members, it's God given, take it like a man.

;)


stayed with the one beer - after i was home! ;)
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

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"it's not the little one's fault!" - my answer: "i know" - and drove off.

That's sad.

Rise above the bullshit. It's easier than you think. ;)



I disagree, and I fully agree with V-B's decision to leave.

In my 50+ years of life, I've seen this pattern of "enabled misbehavior" all too often. The Abuser uses social events like this to hide behind, knowing fully well that "Mom" (or equivalent) will beg the offended party to suck it up for the sake of the event, or the guest of honor, etc. And that's exactly what The Abuser is counting on. So in this case, Mom was essentially being The Abuser's enabler. By refusing to be "guilted" into remaining, V-B was making it clear to The Abuser: "I will not be your enabler. You've crossed the line, and I, for one, refuse to tolerate your misbehavior." That's where the courage of conviction lies. Good for him!

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You got that right Andy. I have been very fortunate to have a family with very little or no drama at all. Everybody is so nice to each other. Currently in the midst of a family reunion myself, and having a great time. Even my wife is jealous of the good vibes she sees in my family. Hers is like an R-rated movie nearly every time they get together. Fuck just gimme the goddamn popcorn and beer and I'll be happy to sit off to the side and watch the fireworks and carnage when shit goes south!!! [Laugh]
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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"it's not the little one's fault!" - my answer: "i know" - and drove off.

That's sad.

Rise above the bullshit. It's easier than you think. ;)



I disagree, and I fully agree with V-B's decision to leave.

In my 50+ years of life, I've seen this pattern of "enabled misbehavior" all too often. The Abuser uses social events like this to hide behind, knowing fully well that "Mom" (or equivalent) will beg the offended party to suck it up for the sake of the event, or the guest of honor, etc. And that's exactly what The Abuser is counting on. So in this case, Mom was essentially being The Abuser's enabler. By refusing to be "guilted" into remaining, V-B was making it clear to The Abuser: "I will not be your enabler. You've crossed the line, and I, for one, refuse to tolerate your misbehavior." That's where the courage of conviction lies. Good for him!


pretty much what i thought on the way home. i didnt say much when i left, i only grumbled something like "liick my ass, you stupid wanker!".

but yea, it's verbal abuse; if i was still in school, i'd probably get a punch following that. and nobody would have objected if i'd have turned around and smacked the bully on the mouth until he'd have stopped. it's actually the only way to make them stop bullying you as i've experienced.

i'm sure the whole party now knows i'm not tolerating it anymore. maybe the bully too, until next time.

the whole thing wouldnt be so bad if it wasnt my dad that's the asshole here.. :S
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

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so, a member of your family is an asshole. like, whenever they see you, first thing off, you're being told in what areas you fail. fine, i can handle that.

but if they start screaming over the tables, that's when i definitely have enough. without saying goodbye to anyone i left the party. fuck that.

i just feel sorry for the 5yr-old that had his big day today. :|

it's my choice to spend time with my family, but hey, i would imagine, i could spend it nicer any other way when that fucking bully is around.

i just got home and i'm still shaking. i've opened my first beer and now i'm gonna kill some people online, that's WAY more fun than hanging out with this fucking BASTARD!

rant over, thanks for listening.. >:(



Hi VB

After I retired from the Federal Gov't my first thought was :)

First time shame on the A-hole. Second time shame on you.

If you feel sorry for the 5yr old that had his big day today.:( He's got many more big days ahead of him with the same A hole bully as long as the Ahole still gets invited to family functions. If the A hole is the kids dad B|B|B|

I avoid all the drama by simply not attending functions I know I will not enjoy. VB your a adult you have the same ability.B|

It's really easy to do there are so many diplomatic excuses why you can't attend you won't even have to use the same BS excuse twice. If you think you need one.

OTOH you can can the tell the truth but why make waves if you don't have. They wouldn't get it anyway.

See my post above about the "house guest from hell" worst house guest ever. It will never happen:)
If you think your reunion was bad my wife'sextended family was having a holiday dinner at her folks house.

it was so extreme that one family member shot the other one with a shotgun at the dinner table. ( I think it was a wife thing) :o Tyhe good news it was before my time:)
The bad news was, It ruined the meal, killed the cousin, my wife and her folks had to clean up the mess themselves. The shooter, (another cousin) paid for his crime. Not sure what happened to or who ended up with the wifes except one was a widow, and the dead guy didn't get any.:S

So no matter how bad you think it can get, you ain't seen nothing. Stay away from all A-holes even if their family it's not going to get any better it can get much worse that you can imagine.

I don't have to kill people on line to get over the A hole. I kill the A-hole in my mind:)
That was easy your problem is solved stay away from family reunions and the A holes you've already killed (in you mind).

Who?????
One Jump Wonder

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Unfortunately, the a hole is my dad.. :S



Then you have to draw your boundaries and, if need be, stay away from him, and keep him away from you, until/unless he's willing to behave respectfully. Which may be never. That means, for example, not visiting your mom, or letting her visit you, unless your dad is absent. And make sure you let her know why. When she misses you enough, she will put pressure on him, which may or may work. And if it doesn't, that's their loss. But just because she submits to being his enabler doesn't mean that you must tolerate his emotional blackmail.

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Unfortunately, the a hole is my dad.. :S



Then you have to draw your boundaries and, if need be, stay away from him, and keep him away from you, untul.unless he's willing to behave respectfully. Which may be never. That means, for example, not visiting your mom, or letting her visit you, unless your dad is absent. And make sure you let her know why. When she misses you enough, she will put pressure on him.


mom called me up today.. the a-word was also used in the conversation. apparently, my brother came also running for me but i missed him. i was off quite quickly.

she also mentioned that she'd let him feel what she thought of it. mom's great! :)
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

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