BIGUN 1,488 #1 July 2, 2012 Scroll back two weeks… So, this buddy and I decide to swap a pickup truck for a 1993 FLHTC Anniversary Harley (173rd in 'Nam and has to have some serious surgeries whom I've known for ~35 years and was his skydiving Instructor). I'm thinking I’ll rebuild this Harley with my daughter, so we have something to work on together for a few years. I take the truck & title over to him and he’s working on the bike a little getting it roadworthy for me. As he’s working on it, I’m looking at the faring and the nineteen miles of wires under the faring and ask him, “What the fuck is all this shit?!?!?” He says, "Well that's all the wires for your CB, radio, cruise control... Me: Huh? We don't need all that fucking shit!! (Keep in mind that I’m old school Harley having owned seven of them and all were just “Harleys.” Superglides, Panheads, WideGlides, etc.) So, I say to him, “Have a seat and some beers this ain't gonna take long”. I get some tools and wire cutters and the bike stantion outta his shop and I start tearing shit off, cutting wires, looked like the skit from "Armageddon" What is this Shit?!?!? That's your cruise control... we won't be needing that anymore and tear it off, cut the wires and throw it on the shop floor And, WHAT IN THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!?!?! Your CB controls as he opens another Corona. CB Controls?!?!?!? It's a fucking Harley, Brother!!! So, Keith, what do you think you're going to do with this bike. Of course, I being the somewhat anal project manager announce with some confidence, “I know!! I'll convert the FLHTC into a Road King Classic!!! I do know we're damn sure gonna get rid of all this Gucci shit and then I'm going to re-wire the fucker with the 9 wires it takes to run a Harley... not this 35 miles of rat's nest shit!! OK. Well, I'm going up to the house. Close the shop down when you're done please... OK, Later. About 3 in the morning, the initial excitement is beginning to wear off and I'm getting tired. I've adios’ed the faring, saddlebags, saddlebag brackets & chrome bar supports, the CB, the Cruise control, the radios, the tach, the speedo, oil gauges, etc. And, I rig the front light to get home. It's a stripped down plain 'ol Harley now. I dust myself off with some pride and take a step back to take in my obvious never have lost mad skillz and ponder the rectal approach that Harley took with turning an awesome piece of iron into a Goldwing wannabe. Throw everything in my buddy’s shop, thow down the door and ride off. I get about ten miles down the road and the MOTHERFUCKER CATCHES ON FIRE.... IT CATCHES ON FUCKING FIRE!!! I'm blowing on the flames that are coming up from under the seat to protect my testicles (like it's going to help) as best I can as I pull off to the side of the road. Soon as I stop, I hop off, I whip out my trusty little mini LED flashlight and..... every fucking wire is cooked. Whip out my phone and call my buddy at 0400 Hours and tell him I need some help.. Can ya bring the Harley trailer down here and load it up and we'll haul it home. He says, sure, no problem and hangs up. I stand there a few minutes surveying the damage and it dawns on me... I whip out the phone and call him back. "You're not coming right away are you, fucker? Well, FUCK NO, I'm not coming right away. I'm gonna finish sleeping first... see you around 7. Click. So, I wheel it over to a grassy knoll down off the highway a ways, lay down and lean up against the bike and drift off. The phone wakes me at 7:00AM and my buddy is asking, "Where are you?" So I tell him and he says it should be less than an hour, he's got to go pick up the trailer at a buddies house first. I roll over and drift back off. Couple of hours later, I begin to stir and take the phone out of my pocket. I call him and there's no answer, so I leave him a voice mail and my phone dies. MY PHONE FUCKING DIES!!! Oh well, I gotta take a leak. Sometime around noon, he comes rolling up with the trailer and I walk up to his window and asked him if he went back to bed. Well, no... I had some fucking problems of my own. Everything alright? Well, not fucking exactly and leads me around to the rear of the truck... The entire rear bumper and tailgate of the truck I had just traded him the night before was demolished. OK. What happened? Left the pin out of the hitch and it jumped it on the railroad tracks and when it slammed into the bumper it jumped to the bottom of the tailgate and wedged itself in there. We pull the bike up onto the tilt trailer and call another buddy who’s a Harley wiring fool whom I hadn’t seen or heard from in around 20 years and pull up in to his front yard. He comes out of the house and doesn’t say a word other than, “It’s gonna take about a week or so, I’ll call you when it’s done. Pull it into the shop and then he turns around and walks back into the house letting one of those old wooden screen doors THWACK closed as though it’s saying. “Dumbass.” My buddy and I head to my house. I get home, plug in the phone, hand him a beer and he plops down on the couch. I grab a few bottles of water to re-hydrate, grab the tablet pc to check my emails… I only have one. I read it and had to scratch my head a few times. What… in…. the… fuck… ?!?!? My buddy says, “What’s up?” I hand him the tablet and he reads the email and says, “How fucking scary is that?!?!?! Which part??? The part about knowing that my penis needs enlargement or that it’s from Gary McMahon!!!!!!! So, I think, “Ya know… I’m just gonna stay home today.”Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. 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CSpenceFLY 1 #2 July 2, 2012 Did you learn anything? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #3 July 2, 2012 ya gotta keep the smoke inside the plastic coversYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #4 July 2, 2012 Shoulda traded the pickup for skydives. What could go wrong? Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #5 July 2, 2012 You want wires? Here's the "under the plastic" on my work bike (ST1300). The alternator took a dump (hard to believe with 2 batteries and more electronics than most cars have), so the top of the bike was taken apart to get to it. On the right you can see the counting unit for the radar, the control unit for the radio, under that is the ABS module for the bike, aux fuse panel, battery links, tie in to the external (plug in) charger and the aux battery. In the saddle bag on that side of the bike is the control unit for the video system (for recording audio/video) and the driver for the LED lights and siren box. From the rider's position it looks like a freak'n jet fighter with all the extra controls and buttons! --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #6 July 2, 2012 Holy underwires, Batman!! That's what I was talkin about!!! In the faring, under the seat. Dear Lord... Who's idea was this? Also... there was this "Anti-Dive thingie. Well, I had to get rid of that when I put on the Road King Nacelle last weekend. The first pic is "To Date." The second pic is the goal (I think) I was going to put 16" Apes on it, but ordered the Big Johnsons handlebars for this year. Wanna try the old school first. More pics next weekend. EDIT: Road King PIC - www.baddad.comNobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #7 September 3, 2012 OK. So here's the update, Brother. NEW; Front Road King Nacelle, Big Johnson Handlebars, handlebar dampners, Avon grips, HD Tank emblems, derby & point covers, "Live to ride" rear-view mirrors, leather saddlebags, Arlen Ness Tank Cover inlay, Fishtail pipes, Highway pegs, horn cover, front fender skirt, drag specialties speedometer, Carburetor Breather element & cover (S&S "type" cover). For next Spring, New mustang seat with studs, leather lever covers, custom blue/silver paint job and black & chrome (or just chrome) cylinder covers.Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #8 September 3, 2012 good lines on that, but my god, there a shit tonne of shiney to polish I freakin hate polishing You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muff528 3 #9 September 3, 2012 Quote good lines on that, but my god, there a shit tonne of shiney to polish I freakin hate polishing His scooter does appear to have a pillion. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aphid 0 #10 September 4, 2012 Quote Quote good lines on that, but my god, there a shit tonne of shiney to polish I freakin hate polishing His scooter does appear to have a pillion. Good ne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #11 September 4, 2012 Quote good lines on that, but my god, there a shit tonne of shiney to polish I freakin hate polishing After she's done fixin me a sammich, I'll let her shiney it up for me. Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #12 September 4, 2012 Quote Quote good lines on that, but my god, there a shit tonne of shiney to polish I freakin hate polishing After she's done fixin me a sammich, I'll let her shiney it up for me. My ride has a solo seat, oddly enough there is also absolutely NO shiny shiny on it eitherThe wife does have her own bike which incedently does have lots of shiny shiny on it that she has to polishYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #13 September 4, 2012 Quote Quote Quote good lines on that, but my god, there a shit tonne of shiney to polish I freakin hate polishing After she's done fixin me a sammich, I'll let her shiney it up for me. My ride has a solo seat, oddly enough there is also absolutely NO shiny shiny on it eitherThe wife does have her own bike which incedently does have lots of shiny shiny on it that she has to polish Yeah... my Mattel Big Wheel had lotsa plastic too, Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #14 September 4, 2012 Quote Quote Quote Quote good lines on that, but my god, there a shit tonne of shiney to polish I freakin hate polishing After she's done fixin me a sammich, I'll let her shiney it up for me. My ride has a solo seat, oddly enough there is also absolutely NO shiny shiny on it eitherThe wife does have her own bike which incedently does have lots of shiny shiny on it that she has to polish Yeah... my Mattel Big Wheel had lotsa plastic too, you haven't been paying attention No plastic on mine, http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=4226465#4226465You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #15 September 4, 2012 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote good lines on that, but my god, there a shit tonne of shiney to polish I freakin hate polishing After she's done fixin me a sammich, I'll let her shiney it up for me. My ride has a solo seat, oddly enough there is also absolutely NO shiny shiny on it eitherThe wife does have her own bike which incedently does have lots of shiny shiny on it that she has to polish Yeah... my Mattel Big Wheel had lotsa plastic too, you haven't been paying attention No plastic on mine, http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=4226465#4226465 Yep.. Sophia reminds me of the cafe racers that were popular in Europe in the late 70's early 80's. You either had a cafe or a moped. The moped "gangs" used to crack me up with their full leathers.Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites