At a certain point, everybody needs a guidebook.

[JerryBaumchen 1,468]

Hi out there in BF-Land,


1. A true sign of love is giving your partner the soft pillow.
2. Always give money to the girl with the violin or the guy with the guitar.
3. Never leave a hospital with a newborn but without a birth certificate.
4. Everybody loves a doughnut. Everybody. Even divorce lawyers.
5. If you think you need concealer, you need concealer.
6. Thank-you notes. Always.
7. Leggings are not pants.
8. When you see someone you know but don't feel like talking to them, don't look at the grass in the park or study a jar of mayonnaise on the supermarket shelf and pretend you don't see them. They know you're faking, and they'll remember.
9. There are only three real answers: yes, no and yes but later.
10. People notice wrapping paper, not wrapping skills.
11. You will never change anybody's opinion about whether or not the bathwater is too hot or too cold.
12. Go to bed. Go to bed. I know it's only 10:30 p.m., but go to bed!
13. No tattoos on the neck. On you or anyone else.
14. Moms like scented candles. It's not a crime to give them one every month.
15. If you tell somebody to go away, they will hang around.
16. Nonstop flights are worth the extra money.
17. If you see lilacs or water balloons in April, you absolutely must buy them. Due to their short lifespan in water (lilacs) and the fact that all stores now sell summer novelty items in spring so that they can sell Halloween stuff in summer (water balloons), you only have five smoking-hot seconds to purchase either item for other people—and cause them to fall down in a shuddering fit of joy. And yes, adults do, too, love water balloons.
18. Lifting your tongue to the roof of your mouth while taking a photo helps smooth out a double chin.
19. Books. Books. More Books.
20. Men who don't put their face in the water are men you may not date or marry. You can swim or not swim, but you can't half-swim. That is like half-walking, half-thinking or half-falling in love. The guy has to put his face in the water, even if it's cold and dark.
21. The five-second food-on-the-floor rule is really the 30-second food-on-the-floor rule. Except in houses with dogs.
22. There is a color you love that does NOT look good on you. Stop wearing it! (This rule is also known as: Don't wear green, Leigh.)
23. Parents love the friend who offers to hold their baby so they can drink a beer.
24. Whispering makes children do just about anything. Which is important to remember when you're about to yell.
25. There is only one clothing size. Yours. Baggy stuff makes you feel thin but look fat. Tight stuff is just plain painful.
26. You do not like fried clams or salt water taffy. You like the romance of the boardwalk. You don't have to eat food that will make you feel ill on the roller coaster just to revel in the seaside atmosphere.
27. Take the stairs. Except if you're on your way to a date or an interview.
28. You will never run out of ideas—or love. So put them out there in the world. You'll have plenty more tomorrow.



JerryBaumchen

[oldwomanc6 60]

My take on this:


1. A true sign of love is giving your partner the soft pillow. unless she prefers both
2. Always give money to the girl with the violin or the guy with the guitar. Busking is an honorable profession, but I hate the guy with the roses that comes to your table in order to guilt you into giving your date a flower
3. Never leave a hospital with a newborn but without a birth certificate. It might not be yours
4. Everybody loves a doughnut. Everybody. Even divorce lawyers. unless you have reflux
5. If you think you need concealer, you need concealer.
6. Thank-you notes. Always. Yeah, right
7. Leggings are not pants.
8. When you see someone you know but don't feel like talking to them, don't look at the grass in the park or study a jar of mayonnaise on the supermarket shelf and pretend you don't see them. They know you're faking, and they'll remember. see #15
9. There are only three real answers: yes, no and yes but later.and maybe, which pretty much means no!
10. People notice wrapping paper, not wrapping skills. thank goodness for gift bags and tissue
11. You will never change anybody's opinion, about whether or not the bathwater is too hot or too cold About anything. Period.
12. Go to bed. Go to bed. I know it's only 10:30 p.m., but go to bed! unless it causes you to wake up at 3:30, and yes it is way late, now. I will go to bed after this post, I promise!
13. No tattoos on the neck. On you or anyone else. unless you can make a living by putting them on others
14. Moms like scented candles. It's not a crime to give them one every month. I'm a mom, and I hate them, they smell terrible, and I think that they are a cop-out of a gift
15. If you tell somebody to go away, they will hang around. See #8
16. Nonstop flights are worth the extra money. +1
17. If you see lilacs or water balloons in April, you absolutely must buy them. Due to their short lifespan in water (lilacs) and the fact that all stores now sell summer novelty items in spring so that they can sell Halloween stuff in summer (water balloons), you only have five smoking-hot seconds to purchase either item for other people—and cause them to fall down in a shuddering fit of joy. And yes, adults do, too, love water balloons. plant a lilac bush, and If you hit me with a water balloon, I'm liable to punch you in the nose
18. Lifting your tongue to the roof of your mouth while taking a photo helps smooth out a double chin. learn something useful every day
19. Books. Books. More Books. 20. Men who don't put their face in the water are men you may not date or marry. You can swim or not swim, but you can't half-swim. That is like half-walking, half-thinking or half-falling in love. The guy has to put his face in the water, even if it's cold and dark. women do this half-swimming thing all the time--interesting double standard, here
21. The five-second food-on-the-floor rule is really the 30-second food-on-the-floor rule. Except in houses with dogs. In a house with dogs, there is nothing left on the floor by the time the 5-second rule is invoked
22. There is a color you love that does NOT look good on you. Stop wearing it! (This rule is also known as: Don't wear green, Leigh.) This is true; no one looks good in mustard yellow or baby shit brown
23. Parents love the friend who offers to hold their baby so they can drink a beer. Good friends, those!
24. Whispering makes children do just about anything. Which is important to remember when you're about to yell. The hard part is remembering
25. There is only one clothing size. Yours. Baggy stuff makes you feel thin but look fat. Tight stuff is just plain painful. True
26. You do not like fried clams or salt water taffy. You like the romance of the boardwalk. You don't have to eat food that will make you feel ill on the roller coaster just to revel in the seaside atmosphere. Sad to say, but some people should avoid roller coasters, in general, too much excitement, I guess
27. Take the stairs. Except if you're on your way to a date or an interview.
28. You will never run out of ideas—or love. So put them out there in the world. You'll have plenty more tomorrow.Gosh, do you really want me to add to this tomorrow? I thought not, but I know you love me enough to at least humor me!

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9