Idea for a new job: Fobb-Off Consultant...

[Nataly 38]

Last year I set up my own small company in France. From the start, it has been an administrative nightmare... I get sent from one organisation to another to get anything done, and in the end I am going around in circles until I invariably end-up being directed right back to the very first person I spoke to months before!!

So I was thinking... There is money to be made here... After experiencing the skillfulness with which French companies *avoid* doing their job, I could give advice to non-French companies on how to fobb-off requests and send customers down the black hole of administrative backlog. I think insurance companies are not worth canvassing, since they already excel at fobbing-off their clients...

Who *is* doing a good job and could use my services?? Any suggestions??

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[Squeak 17]

there was a recent report of a computer programming dude (in the states i think) who "outsourced" his work to India for 20% of what he was getting paid to do it himself.
Ingenuity Love it

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[FlyingRhenquest 1]

There'd probably be some money to be made for a person who can cut through that crap. I can do it quite well when I have to deal with technical support because I worked that job in the early 90's. The trick to technical support is that the first person you talk to is completely useless. Their job is not to help you but to feed you some crap to see if you'll go away before you engage the expensive employees. Since support organizations are customer-facing, their business processes are more rigid than internal groups, so you just need to take the first excuse you can get to demand to talk to their manager. At that point you can actually start getting results. It's better just to never talk to technical support, but sometimes it can't be avoided.

It does kind of throw me for a loop when the first guy I talk to actually knows what he's doing, though. I had to readjust my strategy while Speakeasy was my internet provider, because I could actually talk networking and routing (On Linux, no less!) to the guy who answered the phone. I stayed with the company a lot longer than I would have because of that, though eventually I couldn't resist the lure of faster internet elsewhere. I still miss their support organization though.

I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here?

[Nataly 38]

Quote

There'd probably be some money to be made for a person who can cut through that crap. I can do it quite well when I have to deal with technical support because I worked that job in the early 90's. The trick to technical support is that the first person you talk to is completely useless. Their job is not to help you but to feed you some crap to see if you'll go away before you engage the expensive employees. Since support organizations are customer-facing, their business processes are more rigid than internal groups, so you just need to take the first excuse you can get to demand to talk to their manager. At that point you can actually start getting results. It's better just to never talk to technical support, but sometimes it can't be avoided.

It does kind of throw me for a loop when the first guy I talk to actually knows what he's doing, though. I had to readjust my strategy while Speakeasy was my internet provider, because I could actually talk networking and routing (On Linux, no less!) to the guy who answered the phone. I stayed with the company a lot longer than I would have because of that, though eventually I couldn't resist the lure of faster internet elsewhere. I still miss their support organization though.

You *seriously* underestimate all the layers of crap we are talking about here. No. Rather than fight the system, *much* more realistic (and maybe even fun!) to cause havoc somewhere else!!!

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[wmw999 2,589]

There's a "profession" in Brazil called "despachante," (literally translated dispatcher). That's someone whose job it is to cut through red tape. Of course, things being what they are, they also can get you to the head of the line in front of all those people who actually waited, etc. as well.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[BillyVance 35]

Fobb you! Now why does that sound funny?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[pincheck 0]

Quote

Last year I set up my own small company in France. From the start, it has been an administrative nightmare... I get sent from one organisation to another to get anything done, and in the end I am going around in circles until I invariably end-up being directed right back to the very first person I spoke to months before!!

So I was thinking... There is money to be made here... After experiencing the skillfulness with which French companies *avoid* doing their job, I could give advice to non-French companies on how to fobb-off requests and send customers down the black hole of administrative backlog. I think insurance companies are not worth canvassing, since they already excel at fobbing-off their clients...

Who *is* doing a good job and could use my services?? Any suggestions??

Sounds like insurance companies claim department

Billy-Sonic Haggis Flickr-Fun

[Nataly 38]

Quote

Fobb you! Now why does that sound funny?

Because you wouldn't use it that way!! Fobbing off usually means "getting rid of" someone. "They fobbed me off." It's a lazy way of not dealing with you - either by telling you whatever you need to hear to get rid of you, or flat out not helping you at all. Sometimes people do it so "nicely" you don't even realise it has happened... Getting fobbed off is far more insidious than actually being told to fuck off...

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[BIGUN 1,488]

Quote

There's a "profession" in Brazil called "despachante," (literally translated dispatcher). That's someone whose job it is to cut through red tape. Of course, things being what they are, they also can get you to the head of the line in front of all those people who actually waited, etc. as well.

Wendy P.

Here in the US; those are called, "Lobbyists."

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[JerryBaumchen 1,468]

Hi BV,

Quote

Now why does that sound funny?

Now tell me what is wrong with this sentence?



JerryBaumchen

[adagen 0]

Construction companies have a role called expediter, a bit like the despachante Wendy described. Also the sort of people who really need someone to cut through red tape for them are people moving to a country, especially those who need to be up and running with the day job immediately. Often they work through international consultancies who already have people to do that for them, but there's a growing number of independents who either provide the service to those companies or provide the service to other independents moving in to the country without the support structure provided by large companies.

Why not start with some sort of support website aimed at expats and use that to find out who's looking and what they're looking for?

Anne

[Nataly 38]

Quote

Why not start with some sort of support website aimed at expats and use that to find out who's looking and what they're looking for?

There are loads of those already, and they are useless. The reality is that until you build a network of friends who work in such places (and therefore can help you clear just about any red tape), you are screwed.

And as you would expect, building relationships takes time... So until you have these relationships, you pretty much have to suffer through everything and accept that it will be a long and painful process - even if you do *everything* correctly.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[BillyVance 35]

Quote

Hi BV,

Quote

Now why does that sound funny?

Now tell me what is wrong with this sentence?



JerryBaumchen

Fobb off Jerry.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,590]

We would never fobb you off; Promise!

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.