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wmw999

"Things I learned from my Patients"

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This is a thread in another forum that I was pointed to by Tom Aiello a few years ago. I've seen it called the best thread on the internet, and I"m not sure that's wrong.

Anyway, for your enjoyment:
Quote

When the child applies nail polish to their father's fingernails, there are a few options.

1 - go to wife and get the polish cleaned up so it's at least slightly presentable. You are man enough to have a child, you are man enough to be confident in wearing the polish your child applies to your nails.

2 - hope the child (or children) did not hide the polish remover, and remove the polish. My poor father frequently hoped for this, but always went on to the next.

3 - withhold allowance until the child returned the polish remover. Which doesn't work when the child is of age where working is allowed and/or has older brothers who are equally amused and thus give child money instead.

4 - go to the store and buy polish remover, then use.

Alas, the young man who came storming into the ER with quite the polished fingernail emergency did not seem to understand the 4 options. And he felt like being QUITE loud about how it was a very serious emergency and he needed the doctor RIGHT NOW to take the polish off. Which was further amusing as he apparently got pants 3 sizes too big so he was trying to hold them up to the appropriate sagging level of 2 sizes too big, while gesturing about with the clear traumatic emergency of fingernail polish.

As I'm clamping my hand over my child's smart alec mouth so as to avoid starting problems with the polished idiot, I believe everyone in a 2 mile radius hears the 3 y/o close by pipe up in a very not inside voice "YOU CAN GO TO CVS AND THEY WILL SELL YOU POLISH REMOVER!!!!"

Please note, to GET to the ER, you must drive past CVS. And as the little 3 y/o voice dies down, there is dead silence. And everyone other than the young polished idiot hits the ground rolling. And the young man slunk/waddled away with his tail between his legs and his pants around his knees.

Hey, at least he did drive himself to the ER, so there wasn't any cost to the state for this emergency



Just had to share. Sometimes in the ER there's a happy ending :D

Wendy P.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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JohnMitchell

OMG, what kind of entitlement state have we sunken into? [:/][:/]

Vskydiver used to work ER admitting on the graveyard shifts. She'd see the welfare folks get an ambulance ride for a toothache. :|



And when the ER staff advises the ambulance crew that the Pt will be starting in the waiting room, said Pt walks right out the front door, and calls 911 AGAIN, requesting transport to a different hospital. True Dat!
------------------------------------------
The Dude Abides.
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As an active member of EMS and Fire agencies and an RN, now a flight nurse, that thread is absolutely some of the best reading you can get, IMO.

I had to "do my time" in the ICU to get ready for flight nursing. If/when I do leave flight, it will be to go back to the ED or prehospital environment, I'm done with the ICU. The workload in the ED sucks, but the stories are just too good to miss.

Elvisio "you stuck WHAT, WHERE?" Rodriguez

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My all time FAV post from that thread, one that is in the first page of the thread and ends up being cited many times in the thread:

"The Law of Inverse Value: the less you contribute to society, the greater the trauma you can sustain with minimal to no physical sequelae. "


So true.

Elvisio "have seen it in action" Rodriguez

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skydiver30960

My all time FAV post from that thread, one that is in the first page of the thread and ends up being cited many times in the thread:

"The Law of Inverse Value: the less you contribute to society, the greater the trauma you can sustain with minimal to no physical sequelae. "


So true.

Elvisio "have seen it in action" Rodriguez

In relation to tramps and homeless folks, they quite probably have that many antibodies they can fight off anything:ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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Personally I like the tooth-to-tattoo ratio :D

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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