GiaKrembs 0 #126 November 2, 2005 Quoteif you can't fulfill the contract, then you've broken the contract. It makes no difference what the deal is. The deal's the the deal. WOW, so what happens if your love, your partner, your equal becomes unable to fulfill this "contract" because of a physical impairment - screw him/her because they could not fulfill said obligations.... This is not the 1800's. g Raddest ho this side of Jersey #1 - rest in peace brother Beth lost her cherry and I missed it .... you want access to it, but you don't want to break it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #127 November 2, 2005 if they are paralized from the neck down theres still things that can be done. Id sit there all day and read to him and even change his diapers but just because his sex drive is gone because he is not capable of using it, doesnt mean I should go without, then again , im in a more open relationship then some and my SO knew from day one im more like a 20 yr old guy in that i want sex alotSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #128 November 2, 2005 This thread is a very interesting display of the different opinions concerning sex and its importance in relationships. Rhonda you won't change these folks minds as they won't change yours. Personally, I agree with your position. Although my lover's sex drive is important to me, her skills are far more important. This is why I like older women. Not only is their sex drive equal to mine, if not more, they tend to be more experienced as well. Also I am finding, there is a recent trend that older women are getting hit on by younger men a lot more these days. So ladies, if you are an older woman, all the power to you and enjoy. And guys, if you are an older man, better brush up on your libido cause us "younger" guys are chasing "your" women.www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #129 November 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteif you can't fulfill the contract, then you've broken the contract. It makes no difference what the deal is. The deal's the the deal. WOW, so what happens if your love, your partner, your equal becomes unable to fulfill this "contract" because of a physical impairment - screw him/her because they could not fulfill said obligations.... This is not the 1800's. g Admittedly, I probably would stray. No sense in both of us having to go without. lol I can see all those horrified expressions. www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GiaKrembs 0 #130 November 2, 2005 Quotehe is not capable of using it, doesnt mean I should go without I'm not really debating the point that we all have want's, needs, and desires... I'm questioning her point that it is a "duty" and an "obligation," and it's a "contract," and "a deals a deal." To me it seems to be a very black and white view on love and marriage. Life, love, and marriage is more complex than that... g Raddest ho this side of Jersey #1 - rest in peace brother Beth lost her cherry and I missed it .... you want access to it, but you don't want to break it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #131 November 2, 2005 QuoteIf sex is an obligation in a marriage, then that should be established from the start (in the vows). If it is not an obligation, then perhaps an open marriage should be considered, because natural monogamy is somewhat rare. It is established from the start under the theory that if the husband and wife fail to consummate the marriage, such failure is grounds for legal and religious annulment. And failure to continue the sexual relationship thereafter is considered grounds for divorce. (Impotence is a ground for divorce in a number of states, so it doesn't even have to be willful.) I agree with you, though, on all counts. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #132 November 2, 2005 You are me, and I am you. Isn't it obvious that we "inter-are"? You cultivate the flower in yourself, so that I will be beautiful. I transform the garbage in myself, so that you will not have to suffer. I support you; you support me. I am in this world to offer you peace; you are in this world to bring me joy Thich Nhat Hahn If you love each other you should be willing to go out of your way to make the other person happy in all ways. Maybe not every day and not the same thing every day but the idea and the thought has to be there. The wish to be happy every moment should be there even if it's not possible. I believe that if your spouse doesn't see that you're hurting inside and try to help then there's something deeper going on. It could very well be physical so I think it's important to have him see a doctor. If he refuses and doesn't take your happiness into consideration then perhaps this isn't the relationship you should be in. I'm not saying that people can't just lose their sex drive. It happens to everyone at one time or another and it can come back but you both have to be willing to work on it. If it's just one of you working on it than it will never work. Just be gentle with each other in everything you say and do. Never blame, never force and never beg. Try to express yourself openly and with loving kindness. Today's lesson is over. That'll be $19.99. Another thought to everyone else that's posted on here, if sex wasn't important in a marriage then why is adultery such a big deal? Just something to think about. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #133 November 2, 2005 Quoteif you cant get and erection but want to please your woman.... have her sit on your face ..... Or just out of the blue put your hand down her pants while under a blanket in broad daylight in a crowded place. Like..........the DZ for example and stimulate her clit in just the right way to give her an orgasm. The guilty look she gets afterward and that little smile is priceless. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #134 November 2, 2005 Wow Do you follow the Dharma GFD?www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #135 November 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteif you can't fulfill the contract, then you've broken the contract. It makes no difference what the deal is. The deal's the the deal. WOW, so what happens if your love, your partner, your equal becomes unable to fulfill this "contract" because of a physical impairment - screw him/her because they could not fulfill said obligations.... This is not the 1800's. g That's not what we're talking about. You've gone off on an irrelevant tangent. This discussion is about willful behavior. Edited to add: My exact words were: "I don't want to be married to (or even in a relationship with) someone who doesn't want to have sex with me." Please take note of the word "want." rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #136 November 2, 2005 QuoteAlso I am finding, there is a recent trend that older women are getting hit on by younger men a lot more these days. It's not a recent trend. It's as old as time--a rite of passage, as it were. It's just getting publicity these days, whereas in the past, no one talked about it. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #137 November 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteQuoteif you can't fulfill the contract, then you've broken the contract. It makes no difference what the deal is. The deal's the the deal. WOW, so what happens if your love, your partner, your equal becomes unable to fulfill this "contract" because of a physical impairment - screw him/her because they could not fulfill said obligations.... This is not the 1800's. g That's not what we're talking about. You've gone off on an irrelevant tangent. This discussion is about willful behavior. Well, you did say "can't fulfill the contract", not "won't fulfill the contract" Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #138 November 2, 2005 sorry ladies and gentlemen, he forgets his filter and the definition of TMI hmmmm LOL I just realized something heheheheeeSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #139 November 2, 2005 QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteif you can't fulfill the contract, then you've broken the contract. It makes no difference what the deal is. The deal's the the deal. WOW, so what happens if your love, your partner, your equal becomes unable to fulfill this "contract" because of a physical impairment - screw him/her because they could not fulfill said obligations.... This is not the 1800's. g That's not what we're talking about. You've gone off on an irrelevant tangent. This discussion is about willful behavior. Well, you did say "can't fulfill the contract", not "won't fulfill the contract" Blues, Dave I also said something else: "I don't want to be married to (or even in a relationship with) someone who doesn't want to have sex with me." The use of "can't" was incorrect. The word "won't" is what I intended. But in the context of my other post, it seems pretty clear what I meant. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #140 November 2, 2005 QuoteWow Do you follow the Dharma GFD? I've been on a bit of a spiritual quest and have picked a lot of things up this year. My fiance and I have been doing a lot of reading and listening to books on tape and I can't even begin to express the difference in my life and way of thinking right now. Even in this short period of time. Right now I'm listening to a lot of "Thich Nhat Hahn" like Teachings on Life and Love. I drive about 2 hours a day so I have a lot of time to listen. I know a couple of audio courses aren't going to enlighten me or anything but I think that everyone should give a listen to something like this. I go home and we have some of the most beautiful conversations that leave us both feeling so happy inside. Damn, there goes my guy card again. lol -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #141 November 2, 2005 How do you know if noone talked about it? www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #142 November 3, 2005 QuoteHow do you know if noone talked about it? Old jokes reflect the underside of polite society. Smartass. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #143 November 3, 2005 sigh i want you even more when you talk all smart like ........SWOOONNNSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #144 November 3, 2005 Quotesigh i want you even more when you talk all smart like ........SWOOONNN Stop that! Ya'll are a bunch of perverted WHORES! ALL YA ALL! You should be more sweet and innocent like me. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #145 November 3, 2005 spank us into submission..... either that or become a whore yourselfSudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #146 November 3, 2005 You know, when I first saw this thread I thought it was another thread about male drivers vs female drivers. -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #147 November 3, 2005 QuoteQuoteWow Do you follow the Dharma GFD? I've been on a bit of a spiritual quest and have picked a lot of things up this year. My fiance and I have been doing a lot of reading and listening to books on tape and I can't even begin to express the difference in my life and way of thinking right now. Even in this short period of time. Right now I'm listening to a lot of "Thich Nhat Hahn" like Teachings on Life and Love. I drive about 2 hours a day so I have a lot of time to listen. I know a couple of audio courses aren't going to enlighten me or anything but I think that everyone should give a listen to something like this. I go home and we have some of the most beautiful conversations that leave us both feeling so happy inside. Damn, there goes my guy card again. lol Outstanding. My attitude has changed drastically recently due to the dharma. Its funny how your attitude can control your life. Life is truly amazing.I wish you much success in your search for eternal happiness. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.... sex is good! no! sex is bad! no! sex is good! no! sex is bad!www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #148 November 3, 2005 QuoteQuoteHow do you know if noone talked about it? Old jokes reflect the underside of polite society. Smartass. rl Who? Me? Smartass? Never! www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Girlfalldown 0 #149 November 3, 2005 Quote Outstanding. My attitude has changed drastically recently due to the dharma. Its funny how your attitude can control your life. Life is truly amazing.I wish you much success in your search for eternal happiness. Thanks. QuoteNow back to our regularly scheduled program.... sex is good! no! sex is bad! no! sex is good! no! sex is bad! LMAO! No no no! Wanting sex is bad. I mean good. I mean...er... STOP TOUCHING ME! -------------- (Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Orchid 0 #150 November 3, 2005 Thich Nhat Hahn __________________________________________________ Actually it's "Thich Nhat Hanh" He is an amazing man! He teaches many things: Do not mistreat your body. Learn to handle it with respect. Do not look on your body as only and instrument. Preserve vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of the Way. Sexual expression should not happen without love and commitment. In sexual relationships be aware of future suffering that may be caused. To preserve the happiness of others, respect the rights and commitments of others. Be fully aware of the responsibility of bringing new lives into the world. Meditate on the world into which you are bringing new beings. His philosophy is not limited to preexistent religious structures, but speaks to the individual's desire for wholeness and inner calm."Love is doing small things with great love." Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
