What is the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?

[ryoder 1,590]

NSEMN8R

When I was a corporate stooge the guy in the cubicle next to me left his computer logged in at lunch so I sent out a company wide "coming out of the closet" email from him.

Back in the days before Dizzy.com, the Usenet group "rec.aviation.skydiving" was the way skydivers bantered. One day I saw a post from a regular that caused me to do a double-take:

"Where can I get a really big parachute? I'm a fat bastard, and I can't find one big enough."

That was followed up some hours later with:

"Goddamit! You just can't leave your desk for a few minutes in this place!"

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[JohnMitchell 16]

craigbey

Quote

Hmmm, I got two airliners too close once.

'too close'?

Supposed to use 5 miles of radar separation. Got down to about 3.5 miles. Wasn't too happy about it. Made a mistake, like humans do, and learned from it.

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

I squashed a Toyota MR2 once. It was about 2 weeks old.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[ryoder 1,590]

JohnMitchell

***

Quote

Hmmm, I got two airliners too close once.

'too close'?

Supposed to use 5 miles of radar separation. Got down to about 3.5 miles. Wasn't too happy about it. Made a mistake, like humans do, and learned from it.

That must have been the week you quit amphetamines.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[gunpaq 1]

Being late.

www.geronimoskydiving.com

[airtwardo 7]

Back when I was young, single & 'fun' loving...

Had a wild three day venture into the darkside with a 20 year old recent divorcee...who turned out to be the Airshow Boss's daughter.

For some odd reason - never got asked back to do THAT demo again!?




~Factory job I had once, another guy & I wrote up & left a 'fake memo' on the floor in a bathroom stall that was a favorite hiding place of the resident douche bag pot stirrer...

It was a proposed layoff list - d00d made 50 copies and handed them out all over the place. He got 3 days off & it prompted quite an investigation.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[swisschris62 0]

You happen to have a pic of that?
You going forward or backing?
I crushed a mini once. After hurricane sandy I did a " power only" gig and was yanking a tanker around NY and NJ.
A month straight of 16 - 18 hour days. H.O.S. Was waived at the time for anyone involved in the relief ( funny how they can do that when THEY want to).
Anyway, unloaded 12000 gallons of fuel at a small BP station where I was literally covering the front of the store with my trailer and my nose was up against a fence.
Came out with my paper work signed, did a walk around heading back to my seat and everything was clear. I didn't see or hear anything but this mini pulls right up behind me, parking in the fire zone, and runs inside. Meanwhile I had just put it in gear and started rolling backwards.
I didn't know till the guy came out screaming.
The mini didnt look so good after. Shame on the guy for not parking where he should have.
I never heard another thing about it and it doesn't come up on computers.
Cops came but I didn't get any tickets, wasn't made to give a bottle. The whole thing delayed me about 30 minutes and I was headed back to the terminal for another load....

[tbrown 26]

grue

When I was working in film and TV postproduction, I once told a client to get a running start, do a flip and jump up his own ass. That's probably the worst.

I once called a government official a dickhead to his face, in front of my boss and entire department. Wasn't fired either, my boss never said a word about it. The government guy actually tried to be more courteous after that.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[grue 1]

tbrown

***When I was working in film and TV postproduction, I once told a client to get a running start, do a flip and jump up his own ass. That's probably the worst.

I once called a government official a dickhead to his face, in front of my boss and entire department. Wasn't fired either, my boss never said a word about it. The government guy actually tried to be more courteous after that.

Yeah there were no consequences for this, which I expected given the informal nature of the work and the client had just made a request he KNEW was insane. He laughed at my reply :)

The worst I ever did with consequences would have been when I was dating a subordinate. I couldn't treat her better for obvious reasons and I decided that treating her the same would be hard so I just treated her worse than her coworkers. No consequences at work but boy did I hear about it after

cavete terrae.

[BillyVance 35]

Banged my wife on the conference table after hours when we were the only ones there, with a nice view of the city lights through the floor to ceiling windows.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[oldwomanc6 60]

When I was still in high school, I worked at a daycare center. One day the kids were so wound up that they were impossible to settle down, and I yelled at them and told them to "SHUT UP!"

I felt really bad about it, but they deserved it anyway.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[Andy9o8 2]

grue

******When I was working in film and TV postproduction, I once told a client to get a running start, do a flip and jump up his own ass. That's probably the worst.

I once called a government official a dickhead to his face, in front of my boss and entire department. Wasn't fired either, my boss never said a word about it. The government guy actually tried to be more courteous after that.

Yeah there were no consequences for this, which I expected given the informal nature of the work and the client had just made a request he KNEW was insane. He laughed at my reply :)

The worst I ever did with consequences would have been when I was dating a subordinate. I couldn't treat her better for obvious reasons and I decided that treating her the same would be hard so I just treated her worse than her coworkers. No consequences at work but boy did I hear about it after

I once called a judge an asshole to his face in the courtroom. Because court had just adjourned for the day (so we weren't on the record), and the only people in the room were a couple of courtroom staff, I only got about an hour cooling my heels in the courthouse cellblock.

Absolutely worth it. Besides, as they say in libel law, "Truth is an absolute defense."

[ryoder 1,590]

airtwardo

~Factory job I had once, another guy & I wrote up & left a 'fake memo' on the floor in a bathroom stall that was a favorite hiding place of the resident douche bag pot stirrer...

It was a proposed layoff list - d00d made 50 copies and handed them out all over the place. He got 3 days off & it prompted quite an investigation.

When I worked at Zenith Data Systems, the business part of the company was in Buffalo Grove IL, and the R&D and desktop production was in St Joseph MI, (where I was located).

One evening after hours, some "genius" in Buffalo Grove FAX'd over the "hit list" for the RIF that was coming...to a FAX machine that sat out in an open area of the cubicle prairie.

So of course it was found by some engineers working late that day.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,590]

BillyVance

Banged my wife on the conference table after hours when we were the only ones there, with a nice view of the city lights through the floor to ceiling windows.

That sounds a hell of a lot more productive than most of the time I've spent in conference rooms.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[NWFlyer 2]

ryoder

One evening after hours, some "genius" in Buffalo Grove FAX'd over the "hit list" for the RIF that was coming...to a FAX machine that sat out in an open area of the cubicle prairie.

Ah that reminds me of the stunt my manager pulled on his way out of the company.

I'd been working for a big consulting firm for about a year. When I took the job I agreed to relocate to LA for a year to get integrated into the practice, with the understanding that once that year was up, if I was performing successfully and had built the relationships & trust needed, I could move back to Seattle.

That year was up, and Mike, the managing partner of my group, was not only supportive of me moving back, he'd finagled to get my relocation back home paid for, even though that wasn't something that the company typically paid for people at my level.

At about the same time, Pete, the manager I'd been working for submitted his resignation and left the company.

So imagine my surprise when Mike calls me on my cell phone, while I'm in the process of driving back to Seattle to say "I have to ask you about something even though I don't think it's true, I just have to do my due diligence, and this is especially important now that you're going to be working remotely and we have to have great trust." My stomach drops, of course.

Apparently as a parting shot, in his exit interview, Pete told Mike that one of the reasons he was leaving was that he obtained a copy of the partners' annual plan for our team, and it didn't include Pete's name. And he decided to tell Mike that I'm the one who gave it to him.

My response was a sputtering "Uh, I don't even know what the document is that you're talking about let alone how I'd get a hold of one." He told me that Pete claimed I'd found it on the fax machine and passed it on.

At that point, I found myself having to figure out exactly how much or how little to say, because I've done nothing wrong, but also didn't want to get into a "methinks the lady doth protest too much" situation.

For me, parting shots just aren't worth it. For whatever reason, the job didn't work out or it wasn't the right fit; move out and move on. Why burn bridges in the process?

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Nataly 38]

Speaking of parting shots... I was working at the head offices of Blockbuster UK at a time when they were starting to go bust... A bunch of people got made "redundant" and one person at director level gave a very awkward speech at his leaving party... Told everyone he was fucking glad to be taking an early paid-for retirement, complete with a leaving bonus big enough for him to buy an Aston Martin and go globe-trotting around the world with his wife... He actually said this in front of a bunch of other people who got fuck all as severence pay...

(No, he was not being sarcastic - he really did get an Aston Martin and really was given enough money to travel around the world a couple of times...)

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[grue 1]

Nataly

Speaking of parting shots... I was working at the head offices of Blockbuster UK at a time when they were starting to go bust... A bunch of people got made "redundant" and one person at director level gave a very awkward speech at his leaving party... Told everyone he was fucking glad to be taking an early paid-for retirement, complete with a leaving bonus big enough for him to buy an Aston Martin and go globe-trotting around the world with his wife... He actually said this in front of a bunch of other people who got fuck all as severence pay...

(No, he was not being sarcastic - he really did get an Aston Martin and really was given enough money to travel around the world a couple of times...)

I wish more golden parachutes would end in a double mal, if you get my drift.

cavete terrae.

[hcsvader 1]

I've actually not done many unprofessional things in my career, but I've had some good fuck ups.

Acetylene bombs seem to be frowned upon, but man they are fun.

I've destroyed a couple pieces of equipment, forklift and a scissor lift in welding related fires.

I built an entire modular frame out of the wrong sized material.

Ya pretty boring stuff.... I'm well behaved at work.

Have you seen my pants?
it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream
>:)

[grue 1]

Welp, here's a fresh one from 5 minutes ago.

Our receptionist is a total clean freak to the point where I'm suspecting actual OCD. Out of boredom and just because I'm an asshole, once I was done making lunch, I sprayed and wiped down the kitchen counter, removed one crumb from my plate and placed it on the counter.

About 10 minutes later, I heard "OH MY GOD DISGUSTING" from the kitchen, and a few minutes after that a department-wide email went out complaining about it

cavete terrae.

[NSEMN8R 0]

I have one that I'm a little hesitant to tell. I'm almost ashamed of it, but there was a lot that lead up to it.

One time, when I used to pour concrete, I pooped in a guys glove. He got the bobcat stuck and went to put his glove on and stuck his hand right in it. It got all up under his nails and everything. As soon as he smelled it and realized what it was he instantly threw up. Then another guy started laughing about it so the dude whips the glove at him. I was young and living on draft beer and McDonald's back then so it was pretty loose so when he threw it the poop went flinging everywhere. It hit the guy and got all in his hair. There ended up being poop and barf all over the jobsite. It was nasty.

[headoverheels 334]

Note to self: do not leave gloves out.

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

No pic, it was a while back.

Going forward, around a cloverleaf ramp in a snow storm. Dude had gotten stuck on the ramp and a plow had gone past and around him. He was plowed in. I knew if I stopped that I would be stuck (on ramp going uphill).
I thought I would have enough room to get around him.

I was wrong. Trailer tandems were further in than I thought they would be.

I was, however, right that I would get stuck if I stopped. After everything got sorted out, it took a tow truck to get me moving again.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[Amazon 7]

NSEMN8R

When I was a corporate stooge the guy in the cubicle next to me left his computer logged in at lunch so I sent out a company wide "coming out of the closet" email from him.

At MS.. we prefer to "sheep" people.... But sending out an email to the whole company of "I really like sheep" with a picture attached from someone's unlocked workstation might be a bit much.. but at least send to the group DL... always good for reinforcement of company policy.

I know that most here probably don't remember freeflir29... aka Clay...it was that sort of thing

[theonlyski 8]

Almost convinced a girl to have some fun on a certain infantry generals' desk. Probably not very professional even though I couldn't convince her to seal the deal.

Shouldn't leave a specialist alone on staff duty in the command building.

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[airtwardo 7]

theonlyski

Almost convinced a girl to have some fun on a certain infantry generals' desk. Probably not very professional even though I couldn't convince her to seal the deal.

Shouldn't leave a specialist alone on staff duty in the command building.

You said 'Staff Duty'

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~