Getting back into the sport..?

[Coat. 0]

Hi.

I had recently stopped jumping after my AFF 6 jump (8 months ago) as the jump scared me because it was an unlinked exit, I had a bad arch and leg problems, subsequently leading for me to redo it. I have talked to one of my instructors lately and told me that it might be a good idea to go back and do AFF 5 again, whilst another instructor told me I should just get back into it. Personally, I don't think I feel 100% to get back up there and do stage 6 again. Even if I do go back and do stage 5, I still think since it's been 8 months, I wouldn't be used to it all and thus, perhaps leading to have to redo stage 5.

I am considering doing tunnel training to really work on my body position during FF - as I always seemed to have problems with my legs being blown about, causing myself to backslide, and essentially de-arch. After doing tunnel training, I was then thinking of going and doing stage 5 again. This would be costly, but I know it would be worth it. Also, ever since my last jump, I started to get negavitve thoughts about a malfunction. These thoughts become almost obsessive. I had tried going back to jump again the week after it, but would wake up dredding to do the jump and feeling incredibly nervous. I was never this nervous before. I worry that I would panic in an event of a malfunction and kill myself. I worry that I would not pull the handles at the right time. I worry on how my family would cope if I did happen to die. I want to get back up there but I feel as I just can't. It's killing me because I really admire and enjoy the sport. I don't know what to do anymore...

I was thinking of just heading out to the DZ and hanging around but I would feel as if I was a burden and all.

[GD64 1]

Coat, first some qualifiers about myself, NOT current, NOT an instructor. My opinion is you need to find away to get fear to "manageable levels". Everyone is different on what is manageable. Look at the good in some of your thoughts.......you're constantly thinking of malfunctions. That's a GOOD thing, so tweak you're thinking slightly by thinking you will do the right thing when it happens. This can be totally reinforced by practicing them in front of a instructor you trust and keep that procedure going on your own with an occasional "look see" by said instructor. You have the visualization part down, but now you can see yourself (in your own minds eye) of doing it properly just like you practiced. That exercise should take your fear level down a notch or two. The whole time I was active, I practiced emergency procedures in the harness (a lot of times with no one around......I wanted to focus with out the inevitable jokes from fellow jumpers.

Active jumpers face fear all the time. Or as I call it "a heighten sense of intensity". There are millions of examples from hundreds of thousands of jumpers both active and inactive. When you hear these stories you can sort out what they did right (save that thought) and what they did wrong.....learn from it, but discard once learned....... sort of throw away negative reinforcement.

As far as things like your family coping on your death....maybe putting something on paper (not necessary legal BS), how you want your private property distributed, or just basic thoughts about the individuals you care about could help overcome your anxiety. I'm just throwing out thoughts here as I never worried about that aspect of the sport. Yes, I suppose that's selfish.

As far as the "hanging at the DZ" part, and not wanting to be a burden and all..........EVERY DZ large or small needs an extra hand from time to time. Picking up out jumpers....bad spot or winds, riggers can literally use a extra hand or a extra set of eyes, and there is always a phone ringing, etc., get active and the "burden and all" mindset goes away. No one wants to be around "a Debbie Downer", getting active also helps to thicken your outer skin.......something you will need around jumpers. The laughs and humor (some of it dark) will be your reward.

I have to run to a job site, however, try some of this .02 advice. Work your way through it, because it will carry over to daily non-jump life and the rewards there are forever.

A good and trusted instructor, a mentor (an experienced jumper you "click" with) can be invaluable on your adventure.

Be Well.

[skymama 37]

Welcome to the forums!
As for facing your fears, I think hanging out at the dz will do some good for you. For one thing, you'll see people doing a lot of jumps who are having no malfunctions at all. Yes, malfunctions happen, but for most people they are few and far between. Maintain your gear, learn about your gear, always keep learning about skydiving and I'm sure you will be able to handle whatever malfunction you might have.

These forums are a wealth of information. If you're thinking, "I don't know what to do if I have a bag lock!", I bet you can do a search and find some great info on that. We have some very good and knowledgeable skydivers who have taken the time to share what they know. It's fun to hang out on these forums, but it's also great to be able to learn from them too.

Good luck. I hope you make it back in the air; you'll be proud of yourself!

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon