Freaked out!

[Purple1 0]

Hello all

I'm beginning to feel I've gotten in over my head. Last year I made my first tandem. Skydiving was something I never thought about... I never thought I'd do a jump but the opportunity arose. I didn't really like it at first... but after a few days I decided to give it a try again. I loved my 2nd tandem and couldn't stop thinking about giving it another go so decided that I wanted to learn to do this on my own but it took me another 2 tandems before I got the courage to book my AFF course. So I booked it afew months ago and am going abroad soon to hopefully get it done in a week.
Since I've booked it.. I started to feel like maybe I made a bad choice. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for it. I went and did some tunnel time last week thinking that maybe it would give me the confidence I needed. Well I did 10 mins and hated it! Ok one or two minutes I felt good but for the majority of it I was spooked! Whenever I got stable I fell to pieces... got scared and made a mess of it. It didn't really go all that well. The people watching said otherwise but the instructor didn't really say I'd done well.
For a couple of days after my whole body hurt, and I had big bruises on my elbows and on my head from the goggles being so tight. One concern of mine is I have zero upper body strength so I don't know how I'll deal with handeling the canopy let alone dealing with malfunctions. I know the whole point of this sport is to enjoy it and have fun but I don't feel like that right now. I keep thinking I'll be so scared on my aff1 I'll freak out and have brainfreeze. I'm considering backing out... I feel stupid for thinking this way. I've been saving for ages and I'd lose all that money. I think maybe I should have taken a slower approach to this and take one thing at a time even if it takes me forever. I don't have the same feeling about skydiving that I did a few months ago. I don't think I've got what it takes to get through my first jump. I've never been a sporty person or anything, generally because I have the can't do it attitude but I really wanted to prove it to myself this time that I do! Am I being stupid? Did anyone else feel this frightened in the begining? I'd appreciate your input!

[skymama 37]

Welcome to the forums!
Being a licensed skydiver is not for everyone. There are quite a few people who post on these forums who don't skydive, quit skydiving, have only done tunnel time and only do tandems. In addition, even if you decide that you're not ready to go solo right now, that doesn't mean you can't decide to try it again later. Don't think about the money you've spent, think about what you really want to do. This is a sport that one definitely needs to have passion for because of the risk that is involved with it.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[bjjman 0]

This is exactly why I think people who are on the fence between doing a tandem or an AFF should do the AFF. I've never done a tandem, but I bet I would have psyched myself out if I had. Jumping right into the AFF, there was no opportunity to get a "taste," - I had to actually swallow. (No jokes you sick f*cks). If you forget something, it's probably not a big deal - the instructors are there to remind you.

On the other hand, I don't think you should do it with a "can't do" attitude.

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -Albert Einstein

[Chubba 0]

Don't worry about the canopy strength part... I'm very weak (120lbs, no strength training) and had no problem flying/flaring the canopy, even moving about on my rear risers with a big 270 canopy was possible.

Just do whatever feels right, IMO if you can do more tunnel time, that would be good. Being scared in a vertical wind tunnel has me very worried about what you will be like in freefall.

Oh, and welcome to the forums

[DangerRoo 0]

well I agree with skymama, it is scary at first. And you must feel ok with your self and ready.
The instructers are there for you. Talk with them.

I did my first jump as a tandem and fell in love, I had to figure out how to do it on my own. The first few levels of Aff will help you in your decision of if this is for you or not. Dont get discouraged just because you have to repeat levels though... you do only have a small time to make your body do as your mind is telling it or you were taught to do... it takes work and practice and its tough at first, but things will start to click and make sense the more you do and talk about what happened with the instructors.

You can also try a working tandem to start, ask your DZ about all your options.

The student canopys will be fit for your sizing and beginner status, you will most likely do just fine with flying the canopy as far as the toggle imputs to pull on them for turns and flair. Talk to your instructors about all your concerns.

Bruises though, ya gotta be ok with that, lol you'll get home after a good day of jumping and wonder how in the hell ya got that one. If your not sporty or athletic, you will have muscle use your not use to and feel it, but the more ya use it the better it gets.

This sport is not for everyone, its a very personal choice. Good luck, and just remember to BREATH, that sounds funny but its true, when ya get panicked or spooked take a nice deep breath and let it out. Especially when in free fall, some get the instinct of no air because of the wind in the face- like babies learning to swim...and subconsiously hold thier breath. Breathing will also help ya relax and feel the air on your body helping your control.

(I.C.D#2 VP)
""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama

[Purple1 0]

Thanks guys. I'm really mad that something I was driven for months to do has suddenly got me this scared. The point about aff v tandem is so true,In hindsight I wish I'd just done aff because I was not this nervous about the tandem! I only have myself to blame for feeling this way... I think too dam much sometimes! I think I definatly need to go back to the tunnel before I go solo. Hopefully my poor bod doesn't take such a beating next time!

[PhilDavis 0]

Everything is going to be fine! Even if you consider the things you mention as setbacks, they will pass!

Most instructors are quite helpful, so just let them help you as you learn about how to make this sport easier.

[Gato 0]

I think what you are feeling is completely natural - exposure to the sport last year got you a little bit used to the idea, and the feelings of freefall and canopy flight were very fresh in your mind.

Don't be too hard on yourself. EVERYBODY who's ever done this has gotten scared at one time or another. Even my instructors talk about being nervous at the beginning of the season if they haven't jumped in a while.

I think too much, too. Learn how to think about relaxing and being happy, and give yourself credit for having jumped at all - there are millions of people who will never go even that far.

It's gonna be ok.

T.I.N.S.

[LaRusic 0]

Hey, I was reading your post and being someone who just got off of student status (literally did my solo check out jump on the weekend ) i would share with you my experience. My first few freefalls were absolutly brutal, i was so scared in the plane and on exit i went right onto my back and stayed there until it was time to pull (5 and 10 second delays) and as im sure every one here will tell you, that is an extremely uncomfortable thing to do. I thought i would never get it and never be stable in the air. A winter went by and i decided to go out and keep trying. I got some really good instruction and tips and went up for 5 second delay, and low and behold i was stable. and from then on i became more comfortable and started really enjoying the sport.
I think the big thing is, not to worry about your tunnel time, tunnel is a great trainer but after a lot of time you are going to be wore out and sore, just the nature of the beast. I think that you should focus on how much fun you had doing your tandems.
Like i was told for every one of my jumps, the first and most important thing is to relax and have fun, if you can do that, everything else will follow with practice and with AFF you will get lots of practice and instruction by some excellent instructors im sure
Blue skys :)

The Altitude above you, the runway behind you, and the fuel not in the plane are totally worthless
Dudeist Skydiver # 10

[humanflite 0]

Some great points made in this thread.

When I started AFF I had never done a skydive....After hanging around at the DZ for a few weekends waiting...due to bad weather (or too much wind for AFF at least)..I got to watching all the other jumpers and I thought I had lost my nervousness.

As soon as the first jump came round I was prepared for it in that I had lost my nerves with all the waiting...

But AFF instructors are often nervous looking on an AFF1..
Or at least the ones I know can be from what they have told me and this rubbed off on me a bit which added to the stress of my first jump.

Once the door opened, I knew exactly what I was there for (and how much I had paid ) and I took a deep breath and went into auto pilot relying on my AFF training.

The jump went well (ish) apart from I binned the landing badly by flaring at about 30ft ..as a result I ran out of flare and it wasnt pretty!!!

But then I got some tunnel time (20minute session first) and it made a huge difference to my confidence and ability.

literally HUGE.

The shock and awe of freefall was not there on my second jump and part of this was due to the tunnel...I KNEW what the relative wind felt like in freefall, and I knew I was very stable in the tunnel and hoped it would transfer.

It did.

So in summary. Speak to your instructors, see if you can re arrange your aff date for further away.

Work in the tunnel. (10 minutes for a newcomer IS tiring. If you practice then you will be able to tolerate more but it is FAR more tiring than freefall for a newcomer (equivalent of 10 jumps in 10 minutes) so dont worry about that side of the jump. The adrenalin will handle that...

Workout your upper body a little if your worries though student canopies are very forgiving and you will be able to control it fine Im sure.

Also, one factor you have forgotten....AFF is designed to shield a student as much as possible from the dangers involved in the sport.

The training is very rigorous and will give you a lot more confidence.

Dont think too much about 'I cant do this' and as others have said..only think positive.
The best way to not be scared in the plane is to look confident and keep telling yourself your not scared!!

The fast majority of (sane) people are nervous before AFF..its only natural.
its how you control the fear that really matters.