Hmmm What should I do!?

[dmcoco84 5]

Aight! So I met this girl about a week before Bridge Day. We’ve been chillin A LOT and I have missed at least 4 FREAKIN PERFECT opportunities to jump. Her birthday is today “Tuesday” and she is having a get together, who knows what yet and probably gotta meet at 8:30-9pm. Sun goes down at 6, drive is an hour round trip, walk 20 min round trip, climb 40ish to 900 feet, Winds are looking decent! (at the moment)

“Sigh”, So what should I do?



P.S Tonight was prefect too but I had class. Grrrrrr!

[leroydb 0]

go jump. either she will embrace you and the sport or not...

Leroy


..I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio...

[DexterBase 1]

My experience in past relationships is that if she cannot accept that BASE jumping is a serious part of you (and was before she entered the picture) then she is never going to be cool with you going out and spending time away from her, especially at a time when normal couples are cuddling, watching movies, or sleeping.

I've literally been walking out the door and had a girlfriend tell me that if I left and went on this jump she wouldn't be there when I got back. I thought about that for a second, realized that the girl that just made that demand knew absolutely nothing about what made me tick, looked her straight in the eyes, and left. Never would have worked.

My advice to you, see if you can clone Katie. She's super hot, a solid BASE jumper, and if you're being lazy and sitting around when conditions are good, you're likely to hear "well, if you don't feel like making a jump will you at least ground crew for me?"

Women are usually "cool" with BASE until it starts to make them feel less important to you. Then she will either come to accept it as part of you, or she will be gone.

[RhondaLea 4]

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Women are usually "cool" with BASE until it starts to make them feel less important to you.

This is the heart of the problem.

It's not just a BASE issue, it's a "golf and football and stamp-collecting and workaholism and just about anything else a man uses to tell a woman that she is irrelevant" issue.

If you ignore and disregard a woman long enough, she'll get the message and go away.

Everyone has an ego, and everyone wants to feel important to someone. If the message you're sending to another person is "everything is more important than you; you're last on the list," then you should expect to come home one night and find the house empty.

You would think it would be different if a man and a woman share an activity, but it's not. A lot of relationships end in spite of that, because even with the togetherness of the activity, the attitude remains.

It's not about giving up or even curtailing an activity you love and need to feel whole, it's about making sure that the person you love doesn't feel neglected, abandoned and otherwise like a piece of the furniture.

My answer to your poll, David, is closest to the first option, but with a little less attitude. Call her, and let her know you're going to be a bit late, go make the jump, then go to the party. If that's not acceptable, maybe you have a problem.

Or maybe you should have prioritized your time better so that on the other non-occasions when you weren't jumping, you should've been jumping so that you wouldn't mind giving up jumping one night to attend the party.

Edited to add: I don't know Chad and Katie, but my impression is that they treat each other as best friends first. If more men would treat their partner as they would treat their best friend, these kinds of questions probably would not arise, but in the end, men seem to look at women as "they who hold the key to sex," and far too much of what men do revolves around manipulating women to get some. If men were able to treat a woman as they would a friend, it wouldn't be an issue--unless, of course, they treat their friends carelessly and callously too.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[HELLvetic 0]

I am with Ronda on this one. It's all about balancing your life. Wether it be base jumping, football, or wathever activity makes you happy. If she is important to you
you will find a way to make her feel important to you and she will be more inclined to
respect your activities.

Problem is base jumper tend to be not so balanced people…
Good luck my friend!

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Signature Max Size:
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[klapaucius 0]

Seriously,

The choice is yours not ours
The object will be there tomorrow, though.


Half-seriously,
If you pick (not buy!) her some flowers (dry bouquet in November is OK) from the top or bottom, jump, be late and excuse yourself that these flowers were special because it took a BASE jump to get them...you will see quickly where you stand.

[RhondaLea 4]

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Half-seriously,
If you pick (not buy!) her some flowers (dry bouquet in November is OK) from the top or bottom, jump, be late and excuse yourself that these flowers were special because it took a BASE jump to get them...you will see quickly where you stand.

I read this quickly, and I was ready to kick your ass. Then I saw the "not buy" part, and I have to agree.

So the only part I don't agree with is the "half-seriously."

In the end, love is what you do, not what you say. A woman will cut a guy a lot of slack if she believes he really gives a shit about her feelings.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[NickDG 23]

Deal with her the same way you'd treat anyone that gets in the way of BASE jumping. Fib like hell!

Go jump and then show up at the party and just smile. Keep the secret to yourself, and let them just see the glow.

"Gee," her girlfriends will whisper," your new boyfriend has an inner quality . . ."

BASE isn’t something you'll always be able to do at will. Age, health, job and family issues will eventually stymie you, so go for it now. Besides, no matter how much you like her, you'll like the next one too. Women are like buses, just wait ten minutes and another one will come along . . .

NickD BASE 194

[RhondaLea 4]

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Women are like buses, just wait ten minutes and another one will come along . . .

The same can be said of men, except the interval is more akin to water molecules from a faucet.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[DexterBase 1]

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The same can be said of men, except the interval is more akin to water molecules from a faucet.

Oh boy...

[RhondaLea 4]

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The same can be said of men, except the interval is more akin to water molecules from a faucet.

Oh boy...

Nick started it.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[dmcoco84 5]

That is my biggest problem when it comes to dating. I need to find a gf that is totally understanding of the fact that skydiving and BASE are my life! Yea I may love you very much but she’s gotta understand with out these two things in my life, I don’t have a life. I sometimes do see a point! My most recent ex wasn’t to understanding to this fact. She didn’t even want me to be at the dz for more than a few hours on Saturday. Yea…It didn’t work out.

[dmcoco84 5]

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My answer to your poll, David, is closest to the first option, but with a little less attitude. Call her, and let her know you're going to be a bit late, go make the jump, then go to the party. If that's not acceptable, maybe you have a problem.

Or maybe you should have prioritized your time better so that on the other non-occasions when you weren't jumping, you should've been jumping so that you wouldn't mind giving up jumping one night to attend the party.

Very good points and thanks for your advice. I’ll do that. But here is another part of my dilemma. In my case it’s not just the fact that I have something else I want to do and am putting it before her. Along with my desire to spend time jumping (BASE and skydiving) I am balancing working full time, part/full time college (online), training to be a fire fighter (at the gym at least 3 times a week), studying course material for fire entrance exams and trying to spend time with my new gf. So I’m kinda loaded up!! I was kinda hoping to get into a fire department and then try and meet someone that way the very nice 10 day a month work schedule of a fire fighter would allow me plenty of time for all those things above but it kinda just happened and now I’m having to skip things. I’ve skipped not only BASE jumps but also my training, which is not good because I need to stay in shape for the academy.

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Edited to add: I don't know Chad and Katie, but my impression is that they treat each other as best friends first. If more men would treat their partner as they would treat their best friend, these kinds of questions probably would not arise, but in the end, men seem to look at women as "they who hold the key to sex," and far too much of what men do revolves around manipulating women to get some. If men were able to treat a woman as they would a friend, it wouldn't be an issue--unless, of course, they treat their friends carelessly and callously too.

That a very good point. I’d have to say that’s a lot like how my parents are. My mom is very understanding when it comes to skydiving with my dad. He does spend a good amount of time on the weekend at the dz but always makes sure he spends an equal amount of time with my mom.

Its not that I put BASE in front of my GF is just the fact that I am so busy that I am missing out on jumps. And I don’t know about the rest of you but when I go too long without a jump of any kind, I get irritable.

P.S As for jumping on non-special occasion days, Saturday was a perfect night also but I had to go with her to a Halloween party. She also spent the night at my house so I couldn’t get up early and make a morning jump. She was pretty sick from drinking so I wanted to take care of her. That I don’t have a problem with in skipping a jump! And Sunday night I had calculus to do.

[dmcoco84 5]

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Half-seriously,
If you pick (not buy!) her some flowers (dry bouquet in November is OK) from the top or bottom, jump, be late and excuse yourself that these flowers were special because it took a BASE jump to get them...you will see quickly where you stand.

Well I already sent her flowers and a cute little B-day bear to her work today. Should be there any time now actually.

But yea good Idea but if I go make a jump wouldn’t have time.

[dmcoco84 5]

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BASE isn’t something you'll always be able to do at will. Age, health, job and family issues will eventually stymie you, so go for it now. Besides, no matter how much you like her, you'll like the next one too. Women are like buses, just wait ten minutes and another one will come along . . .

Nick, what can I say!! You always have exactly the right responses. And that’s a very good point too because I am only 21. There are tons of fish in the sea!! I dated a girl about a year ago who I was extremely crazy about. Unfortunately it didn’t work out and I was pretty heartbroken but the next one was just as good. Be then again she was the one that didn’t understand my jumping desires so that didn’t work out either.

As for this new girl, it’s not like I’ve been with this her for a long time and am looking to settle down too. If it doesn’t last I’m sure I’ll have no problems meeting someone else, especially once I get into a FD also. #1 sexiest job!

[dmcoco84 5]

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Quote

Women are like buses, just wait ten minutes and another one will come along . . .

The same can be said of men, except the interval is more akin to water molecules from a faucet.

rl

Wow thats a pretty trashy woman if she goes thought men like that!!

[crazydave44 0]

the only solution for this problem is to be with a BASE jumper. works for me. if she doesn't want to go for some reason. she understands why I do!!

________________________________________
"We make our own rules, We pave our own paths, We write our own destinies, We 'live' our own lives"
________________________________________

[JaapSuter 0]

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My advice to you, see if you can clone Katie. She's super hot, a solid BASE jumper, and if you're being lazy and sitting around when conditions are good, you're likely to hear "well, if you don't feel like making a jump will you at least ground crew for me?"

Clone? Pfff, whatever. Real friends share dude....

[RhondaLea 4]

Quote

Quote

Quote

Women are like buses, just wait ten minutes and another one will come along . . .

The same can be said of men, except the interval is more akin to water molecules from a faucet.

rl

Wow thats a pretty trashy woman if she goes thought men like that!!

No more trashy than men who stake out the bus stop.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[dmcoco84 5]

HEHEHE I knew that would get me a comment! Just messin with ya rhonda!

[dmcoco84 5]

Damnit, She is killing me!!!! Now she wants me to go to dinner with her at 7. Well I already told her I was gonna go to the gym to train and be done by 8:30 so I’ll have to tell her I need to stick to the original plan of meeting at 9. I work out 3 times a week minimum and I haven’t been since last Tuesday so I gotta do soemthing!!! Climbing the tower will at least give me some good cardio!

[RhondaLea 4]

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Damnit, She is killing me!!!! Now she wants me to go to dinner with her at 7. Well I already told her I was gonna go to the gym to train and be done by 8:30 so I’ll have to tell her I need to stick to the original plan of meeting at 9. I work out 3 times a week minimum and I haven’t been since last Tuesday so I gotta do soemthing!!! Climbing the tower will at least give me some good cardio!

Wait.

You lied to her? You told her you're going to the gym, and you're really making a base jump?

Y'know, here's the bottom line. If she won't or can't accept you for who you are, you don't need her, and being involved with her is only going to cause you trouble.

The worst thing in the world for me has always been waking up six months into a relationship to discover that the guy I though I knew didn't exist, and some stranger was sleeping next to me.

I don't sleep with strangers.

Don't do it. Start out honest, and stay that way. As much as I gave him some shit for his way of expressing it, Nick's right. There are a lot of people on this planet, and at least one of them is going to accept you for who you are--all of you, not part of you--as a whole person, not as raw material to remake into the perfect man. (Because the perfect man is perfect at the start, just the way he is, regardless of his flaws. Perfection is all about "fit," no more, no less.)

Women will tolerate a lot if men are honest. Lying will screw up a relationship faster than anything.

Not to mention that if she knows you're a liar, when the time comes that you really need to tell the big whopper, you'll have no chance of being believed.

rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[dmcoco84 5]

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You lied to her? You told her you're going to the gym, and you're really making a base jump?

Well, Yes and No,

If the winds are shitty I am going to go to the gym just like I do every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. If they are nice I’d like to go make a jump. Climbing the tower is great exercise so I am still getting a workout. I have to climb a ladder for one part of the physical agility test (50 feet or something up and down with 70 pounds of gear) for a city here so its practice plus I get a bonus after the climb. I’m getting a workout either way. If I go jump I’ll tell her, if not I’ll be at the gym.

No, I’m not hiding it from her, she knows about the BASE-jumping and is fine with it. She even jokes “ok I’m busy tonight so you can go jump off something”. Lol. I just wish when she was busy the winds were good. Which they haven’t been. It’s just the fact that I have skipped so many days in the past 3 weeks (BASE, workouts and also neglected my school work. I pulled a late nighter the night before last to be ready for a test.)

The winds are looking decent tonight so I really wanna jump. Up until an hour ago, this post was just about being a little late. There was no issue with having to tell her or not because she was going to go out to dinner with a group of girls and then we were going to get together after at about 9ish. After she got the flowers she asked me to come. So I’m kinda just saying I don’t want to change the plans so I can do something else, which yes is kind of a lie, but I mean come on its not a terrible lie….

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Don't do it. Start out honest, and stay that way. As much as I gave him some shit for his way of expressing it, Nick's right. There are a lot of people on this planet, and at least one of them is going to accept you for who you are--all of you, not part of you--as a whole person, not as raw material to remake into the perfect man. (Because the perfect man is perfect at the start, just the way he is, regardless of his flaws. Perfection is all about "fit," no more, no less.)

Women will tolerate a lot if men are honest. Lying will screw up a relationship faster than anything.

Not to mention that if she knows you're a liar, when the time comes that you really need to tell the big whopper, you'll have no chance of being believed.

Quote

I agree!! So should I tell her now I might also go make a jump if winds are good or, or is it ok if I tell her after?? If the winds change there is no reason to say anything.

Yes I am very honest person. Always have been always will be. We all tell a fib here and there but nothing to the extent where I have when against my morals or hurt someone.

I’m gonna pm you something in a sec.

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[TomAiello 26]

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After she got the flowers she asked me to come. So I’m kinda just saying I don’t want to change the plans so I can do something else...

Why don't you just tell her that you already made some plans, because you weren't planning on seeing her until later?

-- Tom Aiello

Tom@SnakeRiverBASE.com
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[dmcoco84 5]

Yea I did and she said that was fine. So now I just gotta hope I'm not late. HAHA

Winds are looking decent:

180 is right down the middle. @7pm winds are @190 and at 10pm @ 220. So if I am on teh platform at 830 at the latest winds should be safe to jump. I won't jump if its past 200.